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How do you deal with your dad if he is constantly rude?

I dont know how to deal with my father anymore. He is constantly being rude and negative towards my Dh and I. When I was talking to my mom about my taxes he chimed in and told me that I did them wrong. I explained what I did and he just rolled his eyes and kind of mumbled. Come to find out I did do them right! Plus he is constantly telling me I am a bad parent because sometimes if we are going out to eat at a nice restaurant we dont always bring our kids. The in-laws like to watch them anyway so its not a big dea. But my dad makes me feel guilty about that. He loves to tell me how to raise my kids. Not to mention he is constantly butting in on my relationship with my DH claiming that my DH is cheating. Which I dont believe at all. My dad likes to start trouble. How can I deal with him? I always say something back when he starts in but it doesnt seem to bother him. I just continues.
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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on Jan. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • The only reason I go around him is because I like to see my mom. And when I talk to her about it she just changes the subject. I just dont know how much longer I can take his negativity.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Have you ever thought of just not hearing him when he start saying stuff like that.Just ignore him, and let him argue with himself if he can.Some people just aren't happy unless they are making others miserable. How was he as a dad growing up?
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 12:41 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I wouldn't deal with him at all. Tell your mom you love her and want her in your life but you can't come to her house anymore. If she wants to be in your life she needs to come to your house. Stay away from him, you don't need that in your life.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 12:41 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • OP HERE------My dad was just as bad growing up. I was counting down the days till I could move out because I couldnt deal with him. And the strange thing is that out of us three kids, I am the one that he is constantly doing this to. Yes, my sisters have had to deal with it a little but nothing compared to me. The one that stands out the most in my mind is when I wanted to go to college and was really excited to find some I liked. When I came home he told me that I shouldnt bother because I was too dumb and would never make it out of high school. Needless to say I believed him and never did go to college. My older sister did and my younger sister is going to college next year. Now he tells me that he is proud that atleast two of his kids were smart enough to go to college.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Some ppl are just negative ppl and find fault no matter what. They stick their two cents worth in even with not asked for it. You either have to learn to tune him out (like the smart wives who just say "yes dear" and ignore what he's saying) or have mom come visit you. My youngest dd lives across the street from her dad with her family and the dad is always trying to cause problems between she and her bf saying one or the other is cheating. Sad. She won't go visit him or let the kids go unless it's absolutely necessary. His new wife (half his age) is just as bad so she tries to steer clear of them both. Have your night out with hubby and let the in laws enjoy the kids. Let dad rot in his own negativism. You are doing a great job.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:11 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • you need to show your father up.. go back to school if that's what it takes (it never hurts to further your education). ignore all of his snide remarks, and only talk about the positive stuff in your life while you are around him. eventually he will lay off if you make it known that his attitude no longer bothers you and you arent taking him seriously.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:13 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Your Dad sounds a lot like my MIL. I'm in the same boat sweetie, I have no idea what to do either. *sigh* Hope you can figure everything out :-(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • So, I see its not just your Dh he does this too, its everyone and I am assuming your Mom too. You have known all your life how he is, now its time you learn how you want to deal with it. Ignoring him, not going home(thats sad) or getting your mom to come to you.tell him beforehand if he does this again that you are going to do something and then stick with it. Maybe not seeing his children will make him see things.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 1:58 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

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