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Long short...SHORT!

Im 23,married 2 yrs,have a 16monthold, hubby works outta town, I hate it, I hate it, did I mention I hate it? Im a SAHM which I do cherish and love. But I would be willing to work at a McDonald's to get my hubby home and he REFUSSES!! He says its not an option, well we decided to get divorced. He really doesnt want to, but I told him I cant live like this anymore. I want to be indepent and I cant raise my DD to be indepent when Im not. I feel like Im stuck here. Not to mention how lonley I get. ( I dont know how Army wifes do it) This life style is not ment for me. I have been talking to a guy on the phone, nothing more than talking. I am starting to LIKE this other guy....but I feel inside like im leaving my hubby for him...and this isnt how it is...but now Im second guessing my self on staying in this marriage.....Any Advise...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Jan. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Why not keep the husband, be your own person (if you want to work then work), have the new guy for moral support since it's just talking. You don't have to make a drastic decision now.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:48 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I agree just go get a job. i was sahm for my sons first ten months now i just got a job to keep myself busy!
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 1:04 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • If you bail just because you do not like how things are going than you will always bail when it is easiest. Sure it is easy to bail and do things your own way, but then what are you teaching your daughter? If you have a good hubby, and are not in danger, and the love is still there, then stop being dumb. Drop the other guy because he is only causing problems by giving you temptation when you need to be focused on you and your husband. If your hubby does not want you to work, there are other options for stay at home moms. Find programs around your area that you can go too or even take the baby too. This will get you out of the house, away from cleaning for a while, and allow you to meet new people and friends. You are not alone in how you feel, but what are you going to do about it... puss out and run or put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 1:04 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • you need to really inventory this and honestly look at your motives before you make ANY decision... once you make that decision its made.... you cant just be like well i changed my mind type thing... there is no reason you cant work it out with your husband and get a job... he doesnt have control over you, you are a grown women and can work if you want to... im sure he wont leave you or get pissed that your working or hold it against you. You need to also think about your daughter... if your motives behind this is because of a guy your "talking" to, than you need to look at how this will not only affect you, but also your daughter....really think about things before you just act on your feelings... write about it ...
    kwiseman19

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 1:08 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • you would be suprised what comes out on pen and paper... but in order to get ANYTHING out of it... you HAVE TO BE HONEST with yourself... write down your motives and really inventory this whole situation.... im sure you can work it out with the husband... and if you do, i dont think its a good idea to keep this other man as "support" obviously you said you are starting to like him, it will just blurr your decision more.... i hope you make the right choice.
    kwiseman19

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 1:08 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Did you talk with hubby about maybe openning your own business from home? Or try doing something together.. ex. my parents have their own business, my dad is a sub contractor for furniture manufacters, and he goes to peoples houses to fix their furniture that is still under warrenty because of factory defects. My mom stays at home and takes all the calls, files the paperwork, etc.. basically a secretary. It works well for them to have their own business together, but my mom could still take care of us when we were little, and school was off etc. There are ways to make both of you happy but it takes compromise. If you can't compromise, then your not going to get your marriage to work
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:08 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • get a job and startt being independant. Why give up what you have cause your falling in lust for a guy you don't have. Ever heard the grass is always green on the other side of the fence? It's not. . Sit your husband down explain your not happy. Let him know things have got to change and your getting a part time job. I am a military wife guess what I am independent. Thanks to his job I manage all the bills, work part time, go to school and raise my 3 kids. Sometimes alone. I can also change my oil and my tires in my car. And stop talking to the other guy cause he's toxic.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 2:56 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

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