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kinda long but help needed

Ok so when i was in high school i had a lot of self esteem issues and used to abuse diet pills, throw up, take pills and not eat, exercise twice a day (all without eating food, just ice cubes and water and 1C of pasta salad a day). Well when i went to college i gained a little weight but was ok with it. Well when i was preg i only gained 24lbs and felt good well my DD is 7 mos andim a SAHM and have NO time to work off extra weight ( ihave actually gained like 15 lbs). I found out my bf looks at porn (whatever every guy does it) but now i keep thinking that he doesnt find me pretty anymore since i gained weight. I mean he is no skinny muscle guy so i dont know why im freaking out but i am. (contd)

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Jan. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • but thats not my real issue. the baby stayed at my moms last night (i had a migraine and he was at work) and this morning i felt better and asked him if he wanted to have sex and he didnt answer. it like made me wanna cry i felt so gross. and iw ent shopping last night and couldnt find anything i liked because i felt like a fat pig. i cant stop thinking about going to the store right now and buying some diet pills because although they are temporary they work. i mean i took them for 3 straight years but i dont wanna go that route. im not even sure what im asking just someone please tell me im not alone and how you got through this

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I don't have this problem but I have heard about it. You should go to your doctor and ask for treatment. For the sake of your little one, you don't want to start up again. Good luck, and hugs.

    Answer by Bmat at 4:44 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • You need to go to therapy, thats the only thing that helped me, honestly though some times even now I still feel that way and I am not skinny but not fat or over weight either (I am 5'6" and about 170). I hate the fact that sometimes when I eat I feel like a pig even though I know I am not, I just dont have time time to worry about working out or trying to diet with a five month old who is breastfeeding. How much do you weigh? Because you are probably not "fat" at all. You just have to realize that after having kids for most women your body will never be the same I had my first when I was 18, cont

    Answer by hautemama83 at 4:59 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I went from 120 to almost 200 and I lost almost all of it but not the hips, or the saggy boobies either, now with my second I was what I am now and during pregnancy I gained 62 pounds I cried all the time, but now I just look at it like oh well when I have the time to actually work on myself I will but until then I will just deal with it and my SO still thinks I look hot and tell me so. You need to tell your SO how you feel about everything and if he is understanding at all, he will be more considerate

    Answer by hautemama83 at 4:59 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Honey 1st of all you need to quit beating yourself up. You had a baby it takes your body approximately a year to get back to the way it was before you were pregnant this includes rebuilding iron stores etc.. cut yourself some slack you just made a person, it took 9 months to make that baby. Be kind to yourself and put yourself on your list, eat a good breakfast and trust me when your little one starts moving you will get plenty of exercise. cont.


    Answer by norbert at 5:09 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • As far as your man goes you need to talk to him and tell him how your are feeling. Ask him what is going on, why he isn't interested etc.. you are right most guys (I wont say all because someone will get on here and yell about how hers doesn't) look at porn. The two may have nothing to do with each other. It's possible he is stressed, depressed, tired, a lot of things, he just became a father 7 months ago, it's a big change for everyone in the house.


    Answer by norbert at 5:13 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • hautemama83.....i am 5'1 and like 140-145ish

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Dont know why ppl assume that all men watch porn.
    Not true!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • OMG that is so not "fat"! that is like the same as me, and I just say hey I have a big butt so what, you'll be fine, dont go back to the old routine because you already know its not healthy. And you can PM me if you ever need to talk.
    And for anon 2:18 I dont think that was the question, and any woman who thinks that a man hasn't ever or will never look at porn is an idiot.

    Answer by hautemama83 at 5:28 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • He doesn't watch porn because he likes how those women look over you. It's merely sexual stimulation. Perhaps he likes taking care of business himself. A lot of men like that. That has nothing to do with you or your looks. Ppl respond to how others make them feel and how they carry themselves. If you are down and depressed and insecure about yourself he can sense it. Sometimes not feeling good about ourselves makes us bitchy or sharp with our responses. Maybe that is making him not want to be romantic. It could be a lot of things but I don't think it's your weight. When I have an attitude my guy wouldn't touch me with a pole. My advice is to just ask him what's up? Tell him you'd like to make your own personal porn with him. It's worth talking about even if you don't do it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:35 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

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