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Does your husband get mad at you when your baby is fussy?

We have a six week old boy and like any other baby there are times when he can be really fussy. It is mostly at night and no amount of food, diaper changes, or comforting can help. It isn't really bad to where he is screaming his head off, he just is fussy and seems like he is frustrated. Well everytime this happens my husband gets mad at me! He says that I am the mom and I should be able to keep him happy. I have a hard enough time trying to care for a three year old and a six week old, not to mention trying to keep our house clean and family fed. On one side I am pissed at my husband for not being more understanding that I am doing everything possible and have dedicated my entire life to caring for our children, and understanding how stressful it is for me when the baby is upset. On the other hand I am taking what he said to heart and feeling really depressed that I can't keep our son happy, that I am not good enough.

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Jan. 25, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (13)
  • You are plenty good enough. Your hubby has to remember that every baby must cry. It is normal. It isn't that you can't keep him happy, but that he probably doesn't know what he wants.

    Answer by coala at 5:48 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • My husband did this during the nights when the baby would cry. So I just went out into the living room with my baby and settled him down and ended up sleeping in the living room with him. My husband got tired of having a cold empty bed and quit his b**ching.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:49 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I think your DH, no offense, needs to STFU.

    He's not much of an involved parent if he's getting upset at a fussy baby.

    He needs to be more involved - children need TWO parents, not one stressed out mom.

    You need to grow a backbone and realize that what you are doing IS important and has value, beyond today, tomorrow or next year. Having said that, you need time for yourself. You need to be your own person, not only identifying as a mother and wife.

    What was his childhood like? Does he get along with his parents? Is his mother the kind of person you can talk to?

    Also - find yourself a mommy's group in R/L for reality checks and play dates.

    Answer by Wimsey at 5:49 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • No, my husband wouldn't DARE blame ME for my infant child being fussy! I would remind my husband that this child is ALSO his child, and he is more than welcome to try and calm our child, if he thinks he can do a better job.

    Seriously, I think you need to leave him alone with the kids for an ENTIRE day. He'll likely appreciate you much more then!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 5:50 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • hun i know how you feel my husband blames me for everything teach him a lesson and leave him alone with them and see how he handles "keeping them happy" dont be upset alot of guys are like that they just dont understand

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  •, what an A** hole! how dare he! Why doesn't he get off his but and try and help! Honey there is nothing wrong with you as a mom, every baby has a certain time of day, usually in the evening that they are fussy, it says it in all the books. Babies are tired from all of the stimulation and learning from the day and they just get grumpy, nothing you can do about it, that is just how it is. That is what normal healthy babies do.

    Answer by megmom21 at 5:51 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I'm not sure that your husband knows the first thing about babies if this is what he thinks. He's the dad so what is he doing for the baby to keep him from fussing? It is ridiculous to think that it is your fault if the baby fusses. Have you ever know a baby that didn't fuss? They fuss because they are babies and they cannot communicate yet. It would not be normal for a baby not to fuss. You sound like a wonderful, devoted mother and you need to be assertive with your husband. Don't let him criticize you this way and make you feel bad. Maybe you need to get him some material to read about babies and what to expect because he sounds like he is clueless. Hang in there and keep being the good mom that you are. He's the one with the problem.

    Answer by Lisahi at 5:54 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • He needs to read a book or new babies..or take him to the next doctor's appt. and get the doc to explain to him that babies do this, like said above..they all have diff fuss times they always fuss.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Nope. My hubby didn't get angry at me. He knew that if he did I would tell HIM to get up and soothe the damn baby if he thought I wasn't doing it "right".

    Answer by cat0325 at 7:05 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Your hubby is an ass. Next time he tells you that, hand him the baby and grab your purse and go to the store. Tell him, "Well obviously I'M not doing something right, so maybe YOUR HIGHNESS can do better! Have fun!"

    Okay, maybe not quite that drastic, but your husband is being an asshole and needs to knock it off.

    Answer by RanaAurora at 7:07 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

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