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4 Bumps

Is my boyfriend to old for me? How should I tell my family?

So I met a wonderfull guy, he's 37 and has two kids 13 and 3 . He's in the military and has all his stuff together, he treats me really well and I enjoy being around him and we talk about everything together.. But I'm 19.. I have a daughter and I just don't have anything in common with people my age any more. The things I'm looking for and want like settling down to have a family. Get married and finish my Nursing degree are all things that ppl my age don't want even if they have kids guys jsut don't seem to get it. Were talking marriage and he's really pushing me to meet my family but Idk how to tell my mother because there the same age and I know she's gonna freak out. Any advice or thoughts?

Okay to answer your guys's questions and maybe put a bit more detail. He has two baby momas he married both of them but he said the first one didn't work because she was wild and didn;t really want to be a mother and a wife, so he acctually has custody of that child and he lives with him full time barely sees his mom. The second mother they have a good relationship but he said they just grew apart he sees his son regularly but isn't on child support. I'm not lookinbg for somebody to save me and I do not have a daddy complex lol, my father and I have a wonderfull relationship. I just want a family and somebody I can enjoy my daughter with and have to help out I want her to have a family just like I did growing up.  We met online and it grew from there to were always together. He is really good with my daughter and wants me to finish school and do whatever I want. He doesn't try and hold me back, the only other thing is he's been moved to Hawaii and I'm in Florida. I have a bestfriend there but he wants to get married so we can all live together out there, But thats a big step Idk if I wanna take. It hasn't been that long andhe's talking about doing this by August. But I'm legal so I don't see the problem?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on Apr. 19, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • Yes, I think you're too young to be with a 37 yo. Just my honest opinion. There are some guys in their early 20s who are looking to settle down and have good jobs.
    My ex is 13 years older than I am. When we were dating and first married I thought he was wonderful and treated me really well. That all changed 3-4 years into our marriage and the age difference really started coming in to play for the first time. I will never again date a guy that is more than 5 years older than I am, any more than that and it's just one more thing that can cause problems in a relationship.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:14 AM on Apr. 19, 2012

  • I think that there is something very wrong with an almost 40 year old wanting to date a teenager, I don't care how mature you think you are, the fact is your not even legal to drink yet,,I think you might find him to be controlling in the future, how did you all meet?
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:17 AM on Apr. 19, 2012

  • I'm sorry but I agree with missanc. That is a big gap in age. His kids are 13 and 3...another big gap. Are there two ex-wives, or were they girlfriends?? There is a whole lot of things that have gone on between him being 19 to 37 years old....a lot of baggage. Being in the military is great but it is a very unique life to live and that is something you really have to consider. If he is full time military, there is deployment and the possibility of moving often. I'm sure he is a great person but you are so very young. If you know your mom will not be supportive, that should be a red flag as well. I hope you do tell you mom about this person and listen to her advice.
    khedy

    Answer by khedy at 10:25 AM on Apr. 19, 2012

  • You are much too young for him.
    Simplicity3

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 10:29 AM on Apr. 19, 2012

  • Sorry... but I find it all kinds of pervy. You are very young so what happens in 10 years when you are no longer quite so young? My guess is that he will ditch you for an even younger model. And seriously... WTF does he want with a girl so young? It is pretty gross.

    When I was your age I thought it was no big deal too, but I am 34 and the idea of dating someone that is young enough to be my child is fucking repulsive.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 10:30 AM on Apr. 19, 2012

  • Yes.
    At the very least date him for a long while, and finish your nursing degree first.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 10:31 AM on Apr. 19, 2012

  • Yes, that is too much of an age difference. He could easily be your dad. You are closer to his kids age. I feel like what you are attracted to is more of a "Daddy" complex then a true healthy love. " He will take care of me". You need to grow and become independent and strong on your own before making any decision. Of course he has it together- he is almost 2 DECADES older than you. What you aren't thinking about is when people ask you if this is your dad, if you are his daughter, what it would feel like in 10 years when you see him as "old" and you are at your prime. People change drastically in the next 10 years of your life. You are making an immature decision. I am sure he loves having a yound girl on his arm. It flatters men. Be logical here. If your mom "freaks out", it is because she knows it is wrong. You already know the facts, but you want security. It is not fair to him.
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 10:35 AM on Apr. 19, 2012

  • go to school and date him , but do not get tied down to him....you are way tooo young and have not life experiences to determine if this is love , lust or just companionship. Live life first....
    jossstone1969

    Answer by jossstone1969 at 10:36 AM on Apr. 19, 2012

  • There are so many red flags here I don't even know where to begin. The first major red flag, imo, is that you have a young daughter. I don't think he should have unlimited access to her until you know him much better than you possibly could now.

    Second, if you're 19 you couldn't have been dating him long. I suspect no longer than a year, if that. So, why would you be making a major life decision with someone you hardly know on an emotional level?

    Third, everything the previous posters stated. This is all kinds of creepy.
    BrawnwynII

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 10:37 AM on Apr. 19, 2012

  • yes, i think he is too old for you.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:48 AM on Apr. 19, 2012

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