Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does it ever get better

I'm in a very hard spot right now learning how to deal with stress and moodswings and my relationship may be over since i packed up and moved out. I have tried for the last 2 years to please my SS. I took him on picnics, beach, camping, chukie cheese never a thank you always an attitude problem and him being grumpy and a bump on a log. I know his mom hates me and says things about me and he has got it figured out that if he feeds grandma and grandpa enough BS she yells at dad and me then I've got my BF thinking I did it when everything was a lie. Then BF would believe me but never say anything to his son or parents and I don't think that i know how to handle waking up everyday knowing his son hates me and afraid to try doing anything with him any more because it hurts me. I really love my BF and his son is not the only stress in life but its the one that broke me. How do any of you moms deal with this?

Answer Question
 
soccergurl

Asked by soccergurl at 9:54 PM on Jan. 25, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Just treat the boy with lots of love but don't do too much for him he might just expect this from you all of the time just be yourself with him and treat him like he was your own. Don't listen to the bm just take care of your self and you bf and your ss. Nothing else matters. And yes it does get better within time. Just do the right thing and be patient. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:14 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Oh, honey - I don't know.
    But I do know that love conquers most, but not all. And step-relationships are HARD.
    Sounds like you've given it the old college try, and maybe you just need to take a break. Go back only if your BF has your back. Then, I'd let him be the parent, and I'd just back off and hope the SS grows up a little.
    3gymnastsmom

    Answer by 3gymnastsmom at 10:36 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I agree with the last poster. You can take a break from trying so hard, but at the same time know that if this never works out, it will be tough to make things work with your bf. If he has your back, i think there's a lot of hope.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 11:31 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Seriously I'd stop doing all of that fun stuff with him and when he asks why tell him the truth without being brutal. Step back and let his dad do all the work with him. I'm not saying to stop loving him but show him what it's like if you stop trying. I am betting that he won't like not having all of the special stuff that you do for him. Just a thought, he might feel guilty about having fun with you if his mom is as bitchy as you described, and he might be taking it out on you.
    TessyCat

    Answer by TessyCat at 12:34 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.