Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Racist mother biracial daughter, what do I do?

My mother is racist, my daughter is mixed. Her grandmother love's her very much. It's the father that she can't stand, and it is because he's black. How do I get her to quit talkin bad about my daughters dad? The hardest thing is that my daughter and I live with my mother. I'm tryin to get on my feet but its hard. My daughters dad works but just started a couple months ago. He has gave my money and diapers. He is a good guy. Why can't my mother see past that?????

Answer Question

Asked by crystal_d2144 at 10:09 PM on Jan. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Explain to your mom that it will in the long run make your daughter have self worth issues. If she thinks that her dad is bad because he is black than she will think she is too because she is half. Or that your mom doesn't like her because of it. You should remind her also that if it weren't for him she wouldn't have her beautiful granddaughter. I had the same problem with some family members. My husband is black.

    Answer by MizAnn at 10:20 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • Pure ignorance just ignorance. Has this man given your mother a reason to like him other than he's black? I'm just curious.
    For your question get out of there quick. Do what you have to. Start working anywhere just to get yourself boosted up.
    Don't leave your child with your mother. Me personally. I don't trust racist people. I'm not saying this bcause I'm black. If my mom was racist and my child was biracial honestly I would not leave my child alone with her. Never know how far she can take her anger towards a color.
    BTW I wasn't calling you ignorant. I was calling your mom's actions ignorance

    Answer by MrsTGray at 10:29 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • my inlaws are racist too and i am a lot better than what they expected their son to be with!!! It got really bad to the point that they havent seen my son for 8 months now! And they wont until they apologize. For them being racist i think wont ever change.
    You could have a long talk to your mom about keeping her rude comments to herself.

    Answer by momavanessa at 10:55 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

  • I'm so sorry things aren't going well. How old is your daughter? That makes a difference as well. If she is racist how is she to be trusted with your daughter? If she hates black, she hates a part of your child. You’re in a bad situation in not being able to move.

    As with children who like to fight try disengaging with her when she starts saying stuff. Don't make a scene, say very simply this is not appropriate and I'm not participating in this and pick your daughter up and leave the room. No anger, no fighting, nothing. Don't be rude or disrespectful because you don't want your child seeing you being disrespectful of your mom. Deal one day at a time.

    My children are bi-racial as well but they are adopted so I know that make a difference. I usually don't give a thought but when you are around it and can't get leave you have to find some ways to cope.

    Hope it gets better.

    Answer by mrsrevjohnson at 11:06 PM on Jan. 25, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.