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Dh is gay?or not?

My dh has been online chatting with gay men. He asks them if they want to suck him, have sex with him etc. He identifies himself as a "top". I am totally bothered by this but i don't know how to approach the subject or if I should at all. he has never given me any reason to think that he is gay or bisexual..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:42 AM on Jan. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • You kind of need to bring it up. If he is gay and trying to hide it, it's not fair to you or him. Ask him whats going on. Also, if he is meeting any of these guys, Who knows if he is being careful, and if he isn't, he could be bringing home a nasty disease. You need to know so you can protect yourself.

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 1:45 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Is he doing this with your knowledge? Is this some sort of perverse joke of his? Either way I don't think its a good thing and you need to address it. Any kind of stepping out gay or not can expose you to STDs. You need to protect yourself.

    Answer by FuzNet at 1:49 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I'm with the PP I'd bring it up to him, tell him that you came across this on the computer and you're not sure where he stands and that you're concerned about this. It isn't an easy topic to broach I'm sure but you need to think about your physical health and the sanity of y our marriage. He may not be gay he may just be bisexual but after all you're married these are things you should share with one another.

    Answer by bubblycute at 1:50 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I am way too up front about things if my SO was doing that he would be damn sure getting asked from me, ask him and if I were you be blunt about it but compassionate too because if he is it maybe very hard for him to come out and say so, if he says no he isn't then you need to find out why in the hell he would be doing that because let me tell you hunny no straight man is even amused by that kind of thing


    Answer by hautemama83 at 1:50 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • There is really no question that your husband is gay, or has some serious sexual issues and fetishes that are completely dangerous to your marriage! Whether you want to discuss it with him or not, you have a decision to make. Doesn't sound like this is something that he can just give up. Sorry hun.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 2:06 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Definitely GAY!  He's using the terminology, identifying himself as a top.  I was seriously have a talk with him and protect yourself cause he may be acting on it already.


    Answer by kira25 at 2:43 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Oh now I understand the question in Just for fun. Yeah, I dated and was engaged to a guy like this 20 years ago and I thought he was just weird. I was only 19 at the time and very naive. I now realize HE realized he was bi or gay IDK I never stuck aroung long enough to find out. Your husband obviously has bi-sexual tendancies or is a closet gay. Figure it out before everyone gets hurt. I have seen lots of this with friends, family acquaintances, etc. It is becoming too darn normal if you ask me.

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 3:25 AM on Jan. 26, 2009


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Get a divorce before you get AIDS!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I'd go with gay. Sorry girl.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

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