Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

Do you think work schedules should factor in to who gets custody of a child? What about visitation?

If one parent is a stay at home parent and the other works should it be taken into consideration that if the working parent has custody, the children will be in daycare or with someone besides the parent when the stay at home parent is available?
How about visitation, if the non custodial parent wants 6 weeks in the summer does it really make sense if that means the child will be in daycare from 7 am till 7 pm 5 days a week and often be dropped off at a friends house during the weekend so that the non custodial parent can work? I certainly wouldn't expect the non custodial parent to take 6 weeks off but maybe instead of 6 weeks, take 1 or 2 weeks and take the time off of work.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Apr. 21, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Answers (12)
  • Not really, no. Technically, my ex could claim to be a stay at home parent if he wanted - he stays at home, mooching off his parents and doing drugs. That doesn't mean he should get custody of my kids. What counts is who will best provide for the kids, and who can give the most stability. That just might be a parent working 12 hour days 5-6 days a week.

    I think if there is a stay at home parent (and honestly, I don't know any divorced parents who don't have to return to work after the divorce), if they can provide the stability and the best home for the child, then sure, they should have custody. But it shouldn't count against the other parent just because they work.

    As far as visitation, I think that would depend on where the parents live. I really don't think it's fair to say he/she can't see their kids for very long just because they work. On the other hand, if they live in the same town, why not do

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:41 PM on Apr. 21, 2012

  • every other weekend or whatever, rather than a super long period during the summer?

    I really think each situation is individual and the decisions should be made based on that individual situation.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:42 PM on Apr. 21, 2012

  • A lot of that also will be depending on the judge also..

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 7:10 PM on Apr. 21, 2012

  • Everything is negotiable.

    Answer by meooma at 7:14 PM on Apr. 21, 2012

  • How can a single person afford to be a stay-at-home parent?

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:01 PM on Apr. 21, 2012

  • I remarried and I am a stay at home mom

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:00 PM on Apr. 21, 2012

  • What you are bringing up is the age old question of who can be a better parent the SAH or the working. The answer is neither one is better based on that fact alone.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:07 PM on Apr. 21, 2012

  • I am not asking who can parent better, a SAHP or a working one I am asking does it make sense for a child to go to day care or be watched by someone else while their parent is at work while their other parent is home and able to care for them

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:11 PM on Apr. 21, 2012

  • The answer is the same it does not matter in the eyes of a judge. It depends on the parents themselves. I have known parents that their children were much better off at a day care than at home with her.

    It has no bearing on custody unless one parent is unfit.

    If you both could get along and live close enough, I would suggest that you be the "daycare" he uses but a court will not order that except maybe in an extreem case.

    Would it be better for the child? There are pros and cons to both situations.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:58 PM on Apr. 21, 2012

  • Just because some one is a SAH, does not mean they or their home is the best place for the child. Lots of factors would need to be considered.

    Can I ask... since you are in the financial position to stay home, would you be willing to decline any court ordered child support? Doesn't seem fair that father should be punished for working, but at the same time you are demanding money from him... Just saying.

    Answer by macbudsmom at 4:05 PM on Apr. 23, 2012

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Parenting Debate

Next question overall (Relationships)