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Am I the only one? Sex desire question....

I'm just plain not interested in sex anymore. My son is 15 months old - so its not like its just after he was born....and in may last year, I seemed to had finally gotten my "drive" back, and that last about a month. now - we have sex about every 4 weeks, and every other time, i enjoy it...IF THAT.....the other times, i feel nothing, i'm just not feeling a darn thing. My husband has tried everything that i've ask - romance, seduction, music, massage, EVERYTHING. and it seems to start off great, but once we get started in the real deal - i lose steam or something, almost instant, and i'm just physically not into it. its extremely depressing. i'm seeing a doctor about it today............... has anyone else experienced this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:00 AM on Jan. 26, 2009 in Health

Answers (7)
  • ME ME ME I HAVE! I feel bad... But this just happen when i got prego... i hate it. i hope it goes away after the baby comes

    Answer by BallardMomma at 10:01 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • It is totally natural, you know have a lot more stress on your plate.. It happens to everyone. You exchaust your physical and emotional limitations on the baby and the household chores. Tell your husband to chill out and it will get better eventually.

    Answer by pupmom at 10:10 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • i also go in and out of it. there are times were i cant get enough ( dh loves that ) and we do it like 3-4 times a week then theres times i want nothing to do with it, or i do it to make him happy but after a few mins im there thinking what can i say or do to make him finish. i have just told dh im tired i run around with a 3 year old cook clean run errands so im tired and not in the mood. sometimes we put in an adult movie but all in all just dont have the umph for it. so your not alone. let us know what the doc says.and good luck hun xo

    Answer by tabbys4 at 10:14 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I think most women go through "phases" with their libido. I know I've certainly been on both ends of the spectrum at various times. The only "advice" I can offer, is that when I was really having no sexual desire, my husband and I set up a sex night...Saturday night actually. And every Saturday we would have sex, no matter what. No excuses. And then the rest of the week he wouldn't ask for it or anything. Eventually we did away with our preset day because we were having sex more and more often and it wasn't needed.

    Good luck.

    Answer by munch12502 at 11:30 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Me! We still do it every 2-3 days because I'm terrified of becoming that old married couple that never has sex lol. And I enjoy it once we get into it. But generally, I could take it or leave it. There is a book and website called the Orgasmic Diet. I used it for awhile and it seemed to help a bit but the fish oil made me break out. I will give it another try after my wedding. I'm not taking the chance of breaking out again before that! If you are not prone to acne, I would give it a try. If you are, just ease into it slowly-which you should do anyways. Good luck!

    Answer by TanyaR1024 at 12:15 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I was this way. What finally helped, and this will sound unappealing to do, I know... but what really helped me was to just have sex anyway. If you have trouble getting 'wet' then get a good lube, and just TAKE YOUR TIME with your husband, but have sex often, even if you don't feel like it. The more we have it, the better it gets...and once the sex started getting better and better I started to actually want it more and more!
    If you have a low sex drive I know that means sex is the last thing you want, but there's no magical fix that isn't going to take some work...and this method, for me, went RIGHT to the problem.
    Good luck!

    Answer by MamaCatCat at 12:29 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Thanks. I really don't know that i like the idea of a scheduled "day", b/c i think that feels forced, and i just could not feel ok about doing it even though i don't want to, and he has issues if he knows i'm not interested, he just wants to stop. even i try to convincing him to go ahead even if i'm not enjoying myself, he doesn't want to. The doctor took my blood to test hormone levels, and i'll get those results next week. she did an exam and found that i was quite dry and had some irritated areas - so they are testing for a bacterial infection (ewww!!!) and/or yeast, but also found that the nerves were a bit off maybe? we'll see.......

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

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