Thanks to MIL I could catch the FLU!!!

I have had issues with MIL for the past several months, most of them being due to her demanding dh take her places that are several hours out of our way b/c when she bought her last car, she couldn't be bothered at age 68 to use common sense and not get a gas guzzler.

She also hasn't paid rent for a few months so she has had a lot of time to have money saved up. Todday she called dh up wanting him to take her to the ER b/c she's having flu symptoms. Even though she has waaay more money leftover after bills than we do she overspends and then dh is the one rescuing her all the time when she gets herself in a pickle. Dh is also planning to spend the night even though he KNOWS there is a good possibility I'll get called in to work and if I have to turn work down b/c he wasn't there to watch out 5-year old I'll lose unemployment benefits for the entire week. And considering the fact that they are making major cuts in our district and there's a strong possibility that next year I'll be called in a lot less, I can't afford to miss ANY work. Also the more I get called in and actually work, if I am not hired somewhere permanently at least the more I earn in a quarter, the higher my weekly benefit amount will be.

When I was sick with the flu with 2 young kids, I took MYSELF to the ER b/c dh and I were seperate and I did what I had to do. Would it kill MIL to budget her money enough where she has gas in her car, or God forbid, ride in an ambulance? I'm just sooo sick of her BS. :(

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Asked by purplerobin at 8:34 PM on Apr. 23, 2012 in Relationships

6424 Level 18

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3 adults resolve and talk--- try to help her ---- apart the kids...

Answer by GlitteribonMom at 3:13 PM on Apr. 24, 2012
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It's both, allaboutkeeley. Dh needs to learn how to say "no" to her, but she IS taking advantage of the fact that she knows she can guilt him into giving her what she wants.

Comment by purplerobin (original poster) at 3:30 AM on Apr. 24, 2012
Credits: 6424 Level 18 Relationships 101
I don't see that you have an issue with your MIL taking advantage. I see that you have an issue with your DH not being able to say "no" to her.

Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 12:20 AM on Apr. 24, 2012
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lovelyliligirl-she doesn't live with us and never has. Some issue came up with the trailer park (I think there was a regulation or something wasn't being maintained) so she didn't have rent for a few months.

Comment by purplerobin (original poster) at 10:49 PM on Apr. 23, 2012
Credits: 6424 Level 18 Relationships 101
Ok I'm with you on this. One going to the ER for the flu is not uncommon because of dehydration which is usually why its extremely dangerous for elderly people BUT if it's only symptoms yes that's dumb. Second, I don't think that it's weird to make her pay rent she has lived her life and has made her own decisions in life and if she needs to live somewhere cheaper and your place is the place then be cheaper not free. Parents make kids pay rent if they need somewhere cheaper But if its to get her on her feet then yes free is normal til she finds somewhere else. Third She's his mother not his wife, once he decided to marry you that means leave his mama. His sole decisions should be made around you and your little family first and always and for the betterment of you and the kids, not his mother and hopefully you and the kids are going to be ok with dealing with that.

Answer by lovelylilgirl at 10:39 PM on Apr. 23, 2012
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He really does need to have a discussion with his mom.
It is inappropriate that money is coming out of the children's mouths to tend to her.
The children Do need to be the first priority before her.

You're correct, it's aggravating- mildly insulting and jeopardizing the welfare of the kids. Not a whole lot of advice here, but good luck.

Answer by feralxat at 10:35 PM on Apr. 23, 2012
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I'm sorry but the flu can be life threatening in an elderly person. The sooner she is diagnosed, the sooner they can giver her something. I completely understand your frustration I also have a very demanding MIL but it's me she demands from. She is 67 years old and I do it, why? Because her years are numbered and as much as I want to knock her upside the head I get that some of her demanding comes from being lonely. Money and things can not help with that.

Answer by luckysevenwow at 10:24 PM on Apr. 23, 2012
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at the trailer park she liveds at so she didn't have rent for a few months.

Comment by purplerobin (original poster) at 9:56 PM on Apr. 23, 2012
Credits: 6424 Level 18 Relationships 101
I agree that you can catch the flu anytime you walk out the door during flu season anon. I daresay though, that deliberately exposing yourself to people who have the flu is foolish because you have a MUCH higher chance of contracting the flu.

It's his mother and I need to get over it??? Yes it's his mother, but NO I DON"T need to get over it b/c she is taking advantage of him anon. One of these trips I mentioned earlier was 1000 miles!!! I cannot afford that kind of wear and tear on the van my parents gave me b/c I needed transportation. And since when is the flu a 911-level emergency anyway?

Doesn' matter where he takes her I would "cry about him being exposed?" No, I am just irritated b/c I can't afford to miss work should I get called in-because of what I mentioned earlier with the budget cuts and whatnot.

And who really makes MIL pay rent???? People who have their own bills, such landlords. Something came up

Comment by purplerobin (original poster) at 9:55 PM on Apr. 23, 2012
Credits: 6424 Level 18 Relationships 101
so, do you not think that each time you walk out the door during flu season you are taking a chance of getting it? It's his mother and you need to get over it. Doesn't matter where he was going to take her she would cry over the fact that he was exposed therefore she is exposed. And really who makes MIL pay rent????

Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Apr. 23, 2012

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