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i have a girl friend whos 18yrs old daughter is living with her and also has a 2yrs old son. her daughter is about to graduate in may but has been out of control. she be lying, stealing, and doing heavy drugs. we've try to repremand her but she scared for her grand child who she basicly raises when her daughters at scholl or work, but then when shes not doing either one she out partying with her son. what as a grandparent can she do? please help!

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Asked by joycb09 at 2:03 PM on Jan. 26, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (15)
  • If she wants to protect the child, she needs to do it the legal way through social services. If your daughter is putting the child in danger, your friend needs to protect the baby. Make a complaint and when they declare the kid, have your friend throw the daughter out and take care of the baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • she doesnt want to kick her out bc of the baby shes afarid if she does that that the baby wud be worse off. what can she do legally? we're afarid she wont get her grand son that they'll put himin a foster home.? what to do?

    Answer by joycb09 at 2:24 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • she should report her dd to csb as an unfit parent and get custody of the grandson. b4 a child is sent to a foster home they check to see if the family can care for the child (easier than finding a placement for him.) it is the right thing to do for the child and she would really be helping her dd even though it is really hard love.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:37 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • If I were your friend, I would turn her in to the police. If she knows the girl is stealing, she should document. Tell her to start writing down dates and times, making pictures, whatever might could be used as hard evidence that she is a criminal. I would not bail her out on the chance that maybe the shock of sitting in jail might bring her to her senses. I would try to get temporary custody of the child, which your friend will need to make medical decisions and the like. I would then tell the daughter that she either gets her act together or the custody arrangement will be permanent. Sometimes, having to go to jail will cause a person to wake up to what life is really all about.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:44 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • My dd did that and I called cps and took him away from her and she had to straighten up and fly right to get him back. She did.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:40 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Honestly first thing I thought of was the Caylee Anthony case here in Orlando, FL. It's made national headlines, but if you haven't heard of it, look it up. Sounds exactly like what this little girl's mom was doing and just a few weeks ago they found her little body in the woods - she'd been missing since July 2008. Not saying that this girl will do the same, but it happens a lot more than it makes the news. She needs to report it to the child protective services before someone else does and then they'll hold the GM accountable for knowing, but not reporting. She can fight for legal rights to have the child as it's foster parent (my grandma has done this and had one of my cousins who is severly handicapped for almost his entire life and he's 21 now). Also, I think it's time to stop helping the girl be like this, she needs to let her go, kick her out and let her experience life on her own, it may help or it may not.

    Answer by kicknscreamn222 at 10:01 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Just a word of caution-If the grandmother is aware that she is doing "heavy drugs" and doesn't report it to CPS, they may not consider her a suitable placement if and when the child is ever taken. It has to do with the same thing that parents get terminated on all the time. (Putting the child in harm's way, or "allowing them to stay with someone who is putting them in harm's way".) They have to make sure the child will be safe with the relative. It's a terrible and all too common situation, I wish her courage and good luck in a bad situation. If the mother straightens up-it will have been worth it. If she doesn't-it will have been worth it to protect the child. P.S.-If the mother is continually leaving the child to party and do drugs, hasn't bonded, etc. it falls under emotional/psychological abuse, which under the law, is the same as physical abuse. *16 is really young to be a mom...

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 11:25 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • PS- 2 is a hard age for any mother, it's the most challenging time for the child, and it's seems there has been way too many reports of these aged children being hurt/killed by the parents & SO's. Now is the time to act. Good luck to her!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 11:27 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • call cys

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

  • I wonder if the 18 year old could be bribed to give custody to the Grandmother? $2k to sign the papers and go away?

    Answer by Trixiebelle2 at 12:19 AM on Jan. 29, 2009

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