Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I just being "mean?'

I don't get along with my SO dad.I can tolerate him up to a point but thats it. He always thinks he knows whats best for everyone and he's not afraid to share it. Whether it's how to raise my kids and even how I cook dinner!He drinks alot,I'm talking almost every day.And not just a beer here and there, he gets drunk.We had to live with him for a couple weeks while our apartment was being set up for us and it was hell! He got drunk almost every night. One night we got into an argument and he blocked my way into the apartment and even grabbed my arms and pushed me in front of my kids. He gambles and drinks his money then asks my SO for money even though we are barely gettin by.I talked to my SO about it but he says thats his dad and when he asks for help he'll give it.I wouldnt mind if he genuinely needed help but he's just irresponsible.I put up with it cuz I love my SO but I'd rather stay away from him. Am I wrong here?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Jan. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • No, your not wrong, but your SO is. I would think your SO would be upset that his dad put his hands on you, I hope he said something to him about this. I would just do my best to stay away for him, he sounds abusive and your children should not be around him until he gets help.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 3:59 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • well i can completelty understand where you are coming from he only wants his money so he can go and get drunk but at the same time that is his father and he probably feels he has to help him with money .
    britme1027

    Answer by britme1027 at 4:05 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • You should not have your kids around someone that is so unstable and drinking so much, and who is being physical with you, EVER. That is setting a poor example for your kids and you should not be putting up with that crap. Your kids deserve better and they are suffering because you are willing to be a doormat. Tell your So he needs to keep his dad away, and if he doesn't, you need to get away from him. Your children deserve better than that crap.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • And can you believe after all this he wanted to move in with us for awhile cuz he was gettin thrown out of his apartment?! I stood my ground on that one and flat out refused. I told my SO if he let him move in with us I would take the kids and run. He stood by me on that one but you're right. I did wonder why he didn't call his dad out on pushing me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I agree he should have touched you... but I also can see where your SO is comming from... he is his dad and thats how he is... he has come to live with that and prob. has since he was just a little boy.... My SO HATES my mum, she is controlling and makes me feel like dirt when I talk to her, her way is always the best and she lets you know what she's thinking... in other words she's a BIT*H... but she is my mum and it hurts when he says soemthing about how I shouldnt talk to her/see her, She's my mum and thats how she is... just think about it... he can live with him being the way he is and has for a long time... just stay out of his way and let your SO do what he needs to do to help his dad....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • By the way we live in different states now because of this. I wouldn't let my kids stay around that so I don't think I'm being a doormat or am I?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • You have every right to be mad and I'd be ticked if my husband was doing that! Tell your hubby that you need to be the priority in his life, not his father. If you don't agree with giving him money then the money shouldn't be given. This is true to any thing dealing with money.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 4:15 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.