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would u be patient or give up?

me & my bf talk about marriage alot,and the last convo we had he had told me wen all of its going to happen...we'll be engaged by the time hes 22-23 (ill b 23-24) & married wen hes 24-25 (ill b 25-26) ... and w/i that time we want 2 or 3 more kids ... well i have a feeling im going to look hoooooorrible!!! so i told him nvm , i dont want anything now ... he told me to b patient and we wouldnt fight anymore bout it ... but i dont want to ... i really want it to happen now. he says we dont have the money for a ring yet (but we have money for him to go to the studio 2 time a month - which is either 25 or 50 a visit) ... its not like i want a billion dollar ring . im very low manintence w/ sum things ... idk he dont understand how bad i want this and how much it means for me to have some say -- but he has to have ALL the say in it ... all i get to do is plan the wedding (that isnt ever gunna happen so far). i rly just wana give up

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tha-hawt-mommie

Asked by tha-hawt-mommie at 3:57 PM on Jan. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Sounds to me he really dosen't want to get married......I am sorry
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Id be patient if I loved him.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:01 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • well i would not force him into doing something he dont want to do or is not ready for .give him time i dont even bring it up to my so if he wants to do it then he will if not then hey his loss not mine .good luck
    britme1027

    Answer by britme1027 at 4:01 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • but im not tryin to look all idk horrible after havin 4 or 5 kids ... i told him if he waits till than we're just gunna do the courthouse ...
    tha-hawt-mommie

    Answer by tha-hawt-mommie at 4:04 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • hm... I would not have more children with him unless he were willing to make that commitment... you are certainly already commiting to a lifetime of 4 or 5 children from him. I would consider it an insult that he is not willing to do the same

    if he were to leave you tomorrow you'd have 3 kids and have a lot of trouble supporting them and yourself, imagine if he leaves after the 5th????

    A little gold ring is 50 or less (walmart) a wedding can be done beautifully without spending too much-

    and if you don't have money for a wedding how are you going to support number 4 and 5???? (that would be my question to him- not you)
    LuckyClown

    Answer by LuckyClown at 4:10 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • If your main concern is how you look, probably you shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone else. You and him have totally different priorities, he's not commiting and you are
    worried about your appearance and the size of the rock. I wouldn't even contimplate having more kids with someone who I couldn't marry. Neither of you sound mature enough to have kids, and you sound totally incompatible.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • um. I'm going to say this . he's willing to make the commitment to have children. But yet not marry you . Yet. Talk his cheap. Keep to 1 kid. you want to be a wife not a baby mamma...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • the man has a plan. That's a good thing. He wants things done right. There is nothing wrong with that. Give yourself time to get to know him better during this wait or you might end up being one of these women who ask what to do AFTER they are married and miserable bc he doesn't do this or he doesn't do that. Find out what kind of man he is and what he expects from you as a wife. Will he help (if you want him to help) with housework and child care? Will he want you to work or be a SAHM? Will he be a control freak or allow you to be yourself instead of an extension of him catering to his every whim? Spend this time wisely. Don't rush things.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:19 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • anon 4:17 -- def not worried bout the ring size ... i said i dont want nething expensive , i showed him 1 for 125 its teeeeeeeeeeeeny and he said no HE wants me to have sumthin bigger ... get it straight b4 u answer please thnx
    tha-hawt-mommie

    Answer by tha-hawt-mommie at 4:21 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • everytime i ask him y its takin so long he ,akes up new excuses ... he adds new reasons y we cant do it now ... like he wants a bigger place , he wants abetter job , he wants to see how i act w/ certain things , how i treat the baby ... etc ... like he wants to go thru all life struggles 1st it sux
    tha-hawt-mommie

    Answer by tha-hawt-mommie at 4:23 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

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