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Anybody here ever placed a close family member in the nursing home?

My mother has been the caretaker of my grandmother now for about 3 or 4 years. She has alzheimers. It has recently gotten sooooo severe. That my mother who also works 40 hours a week decided to find a nursing home.

She should have a bed ready for her this week. My mother is grieving and stressed as if she had already passed away.

Now I am wondering how bad the actual dropping off will be. My mother plans to do it herself with my father to help her....but I am soooo worried about the toll this is taking on my mom.

Alzheimers is a dreaded terrible disease!!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Jan. 26, 2009 in Health

Answers (4)
  • I was the medical power of attorny for my grandmother, even know my step grandfather of over 25 years was still alive... It was a hard choice to finally choose a home for Grandma, she too suffered from altizmers, and It broke me and my 2 sisters hearts to place her there. Ultimatly is came down to her quality of care, and the peace of mind for my grandfather, who could no longer properly take care of her.... Do your reasearch and pick a home that you would be willing to stay in, that way the quilt is easier to deal with
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • yes, I was designated to put my MIL in for a short time to recover from bowel surgery but, it was hard- I think she'd still be alive today if she had stayed there permanently-medicare is so screwed up!
    Momoftwo278

    Answer by Momoftwo278 at 5:39 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Talk to your mom & maybe offer going into the nursing home for awhile & doing surprise visits to see your grandmother. I think that if you both do these visits for awhile & do a routine of unexpected visits, you will have a better idea on how functional the staff are doing in this nursing home & with their patients. You had mentioned that your mother is really busy & can't take care of your grandmother full time anymore so another idea is to ask about the volunteer work that they offer in the nursing home. Maybe you or your mom can go there once a week & start up a fun game such as cards, scrabble, or dominoes with the elderly. This might even help your grandmother  find a good friend. Whatever you decide, I hope your mom will find peace & positive outlook on this difficult time for her.

    onespecialmom

    Answer by onespecialmom at 6:36 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I was just about to post this question myself. We are putting my father in a nursing home tomorrow. I am wondering about the actual "getting there" myself. He is so confused. It's hard to know what he can understand. I am just praying to be able to get thru it. I will say a prayer for your family, too. Yes, Alzheimer's is a terrible disease!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

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