Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how do my husband and i handle a 17 year old whose doesnt even act like im in the room with her shes my step daughter

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Jul. 20, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (6)
  • she might feel like your taking her mothers place. i mean i dont have a 17 year old but im going by what i think. try doing things with her more, and tell her that your not trying to take anyones place. dont force her to be with u or talk because that will make it worst.

    Answer by deathmetalblack at 6:31 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • Her father should speak with her privately about how she is feeling, if she dislikes you or just feels uncomfortable around you or if it is something else. He should be supportive of her feelings & tell her that you would both like it if the two of you could have a friendly relationship, but that you don't want to force something on her if she is uncomfortable with the terms of the relationship. At 17 it is really up to her what kind of relationship she wants to have with you.

    Answer by nysa00 at 6:57 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • She sounds like she is desperately trying to keep some sort of control over her own life. I'm guessing she is not happy about mom and dad splitting, her life being torn apart, her home life divided, her time with dad is having to be shared with you. Let her make peace with herself. She will acknowledge your existence when the time is right for her. She's having trouble processing right now. Just work around her. Don't let her know it bothers you or she might take advantage of that and milk it to pay you back for popping into her life and disrupting it. It will be fine. Let it work itself out

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:04 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • coming from a blended family growing up, I would like to voice my opinion to shed some light on it. I was younger when my father remarried but none the less my step mother joined us with a son and daughter that were very close in age to us. It didnt work out well when we were told to call her mom b/c our mother was very much still around. Take in to consideration its hard on a girl to accept another lady in her dads life. I encourage discuss with your husband, voice your concerns, see if you can have an open family discussion and air all of everyone's feelings and work on them one at a time. She may see you not intruding but just joining then.
    Good luck

    Answer by crzybch at 10:39 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • go sit and talk to her about your feelings regardless of her reactions shes always listening! that was advice from my 17 year old who is in the same position.

    Answer by fairybrokenwing at 12:18 AM on Jul. 21, 2008

  • I'd just try to talk to her alone.Maybe she will open up to you.Or try to be her friend.Go yard saleing or to lunch.I'd tell her that I am not trying to replace her mother, or take her dad from her.that might help.

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:16 PM on Jul. 21, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Teens (13-17)
step kids

Next question overall (Health)
BD'ing and painful intercourse