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What do you do when your step-child lies about things going on while at your house?

I have a step-daughter that frequently lies or leaves out pieces of stories that occur at our house. The mom gets very upset calling and yelling at my husband about it. She refuses to believe our side of the story. She has even gone so far as to threaten an attorney. I feel that my SD is playing her parents against each other and in a way is throwing a tantrum because we have rules at our house, where as her mother admitidly allows her to do whatever she wants. I know this will come back on mom eventually, but I'm not sure how to deal with it now. It is bad enough that it is causing major problems in my marriage. I have thought about divorce because I'm so sick of the constant drama and arguements. Advice, please?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on Jan. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • As long as you guys are ok and there is no truth to this just let it go ignore her, let that girl talk all she wants. The daughter is just upset bc her parents are no longer together she is going to find out the hard way. Just live your lives and let that woman complain all she wants let her live a misserable life if she refuses to believe you guys. By trying to prove you are right you are just making it look like you are hiding something and in the mean time the girl is probably just sitting back laughing hoping her little plan works and then she can have mom and dad together again. Just treat the sd the best that you can she will appreciate you later. GL Stepmom for 12 yrs. Whew!!!!

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 7:46 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • This goes on all the time....... and the mother's play a big hand in it.......... This is going to sound bad....... but Could your Spouse, just sign off rights to the kid.......... Your going to live in this Hell forever...... unless he makes a choice to just walk away from the past...... I know it sounds bad but you'll see...........
    Kay300

    Answer by Kay300 at 7:49 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I could have written the same post. i am going through the same thing with SS (10). he has told his mother that I beat him and lock him in his room. He is even gone so far as to say that my husband hurt him. CPS has been called--they QUICKLY figured out what was going on and dropped everything. Everytime he leaves here he tells his mother something to get her going and screaming and threatening to call CPS again. i have frequently thought about leaving b/c most of his comments are about me. B/c same as your house we have rules and she does not. I am the one that he sees as making the rules so I am the "bad" one.
    Carajust

    Answer by Carajust at 7:52 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • cont... I am now on strike and I refuse to do anything with him. If his father is not in the room with him he must be in his room. I refuse to be alone with him. I have two other children that I need to think about--I don't need him getting my kids taken away b/c he is lying. I abviously don't have any advice for you b/c I don;t know what to do either, but I understand what you are going through and it is very hard.
    Carajust

    Answer by Carajust at 7:52 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I WOULD TAPE THEM THEN SHOW IT TO THE MOM.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • If CPS came and investigated and found nothing wrong, they won't take your other kids. Let the mother call CPS again or an attorney or whatever, she won't get very far. CPS will stop investigating or taking her calls, and if she hires a lawyer, she is the one who will have to pay him. Very much of that and she will stop believing the kid's lies when it hits her in the wallet.
    pagan_mama

    Answer by pagan_mama at 8:36 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • i went threw this with my now 10 year old she was 8 at the time and in my house there are rules not at bm's house. my 2 sd's were a 1/2 hour late coming home one sunday ( normaly gets grounded for being late i said 5 i mean 5 so no more outside ) and sd's knew this so when the came in they sat down and i said your late. ohh there was this man in his underware eating a bird and he cased us. ( not true and i knew it by the way they were acting ) but bm was worried so she called the cops they came and looked and knew it was nothing and they told bm.well next morning i talked to the kids and there story changed 4 times including his underwear. so when bm came and dh home i sat them all down and once again new story and i pointed it out and kids were like ohh yeah. so it showed bm that it wasent true. they finally came clean and said we didnt want to be grounded. now bm will call and ask me before she freaks out.
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 8:09 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • i have that prob also but my ss is only 4yrs old..so when she calls to talk to him he has a very broken story because he cant talk much lol he'll say things like 'brother hit me' or mama (blank) smaked my butt but cant verbalize the reasons so i get yelled and cussed at all the time i tell her that in my house i have rules that all of my children must follow including my ss..i simply tell her that untill she can ask me what happend in a civilized adult manner that i simply do not have to listen to her and i hang up usually she calls back within a few mins after shes calmed down ..
    connorsmom22607

    Answer by connorsmom22607 at 12:20 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • unfortunately it looks like a lot of us have this problem and there is not a lot for answers.
    Jess307

    Answer by Jess307 at 3:48 PM on Aug. 29, 2013

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