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Around what age you think is ok for a girl to shave her legs and get her eyebrows done?

Thanks to everyone who answered the question about my son wanting an earring!..Now,my oldest daughter is about to turn 9...about a month ago while visiting she grabbed a razor and shaved her legs and arms...she also tried to shape her eyebrows but just made a big line on one...at first i smiled...then i asked her why she did it...she said girls at school do it ...I had the talk that my mom told me...when she get her period she can start shaving..when shes 15 she can get her eyebrows done...am I being too hard?...she told me that girls at school call her "monkey" and there are girls who dye their hair and get tanned...and she trying to live up to her stepmoms expectations...but her stepmom is a 43yr old skinny, fake everything , lots of makeupwoman...I am old school,conservative and in my family we are big people...I dont want my daughter 2 have low self-esteem...but she cant be trying to be like everyone else...or should she?

 
feelingthekicks

Asked by feelingthekicks at 8:19 PM on Jan. 26, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (13)
  • You aren't being to hard. But whatever rules you set, you need to make sure that her dad and step mom uphold at their house. If she can't shave until she starts her period then that is that. You just need to remind her that she is beautiful the way that she is. Also tell her that people that do this at this age are not being true to themselves and aren't showing their true beauty.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 8:26 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • You aren't being too hard but relax on the shaving. Even if she didn't have her period yet, there isn't anything wrong with keeping hair off. It hold bacteria and some kids stink unless they shave. I eyebrow thing I agree on because it falls under wearing makeup. Kids don't need to do everything early. They'll get bored when they are finally the appropriate age.
    Godswk

    Answer by Godswk at 8:22 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • i dont think your being harsh. i think your doing the right thing. if i had a daughter i'd be like that more than likely!
    MommaBear1129

    Answer by MommaBear1129 at 8:26 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Wow thats a tough one, i think i understand your dilemma...perhaps she is too young but you dont want her to have self image issues because of hair..and you pressured because of how the step mom looks.

    My oldest is 8 yrs old, and i would not let her shave/tweeze next year. BUT she is not hairy, and neither was I. I started shaving my legs when i was 12, that was too young for most girls but i loved the clean feeling (OCD) .

    Eyebrows is a whole other ball game, instead of her doing it herself, i would recommend taking her to a profesional...she might feel grown up and they will not be taking off too much (try speaking with someone before hand about what YOU want)

    But ultimately is a very personal decision, maybe a comprise of putting off another year (just keep the promise) and have a manicure with her this year...

    Good luck!
    krubalc

    Answer by krubalc at 8:32 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • If my daughter had really hairy legs and felt self-conscious about it, I would let her shave with an electric razor. If my daughter had hair under her arms, I would let her shave that too. If my daughter had really heavy eyebrows, I would probably let her get her eyebrows done professionally or help her myself if they bothered her. I would make them look natural, though, not really stylized or "adult". If the child is genuinely self-conscious and actually hairy, then I would let her address it. Why make her feel self-conscious when it is an easy fix. I would be careful about letting her make herself look older, though. I think as a parent, you can tell the difference.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 8:56 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I started shaving under my arms at around ten because I had dark hair and it was really noticeable. I remember a girl in 6thgrade gym whose mom would not let her shave, she too had very dark hair all the other kids gave her such a hard time about it. One of my best friends in the same grade also had the same rules, but the was blond and it never made any difference at all. No one even noticed. I am not trying to say you should let her shave, I do think nine is a bit young, I'm just saying kids can be mean and this is not something worth letting her suffer over. So do you think she is really embarrassed? Or just trying to grow up to fast like all the other kids. Continued...

    Cris1128

    Answer by Cris1128 at 11:22 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • The eye brows at 15 is reasonable, you might be want to waver a little bit if they are really bushy. She is starting to really tap into her girlie side (it only gets worse) and if her brows are super fuzzy they are likely to look manly and make her feel selfconsious. A feeling she might suffer from a bit to much over the next few years. Good luck.
    Cris1128

    Answer by Cris1128 at 11:22 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • 9 seems pretty young to shave anything, but like cris1128 said some girls get more hairy than others, exp if She has dark hair, I have seen Girls in the gym at 10 that look really hairy, and yes Girls can be so mean if anyone is different at all, I have blond hair, and started shaving sometimes at about 12, cause it felt so clean and smooth.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • my daughter has alot of dark hair.she is almost 10.and she hasnt shaved her legs yetbut the kids in school do call her cromagnon woman...so get get those mini electric razor and do the middle of her eyebrows...just a little.it seems to work and she doesnt get picked on any more...
    snowmom974

    Answer by snowmom974 at 8:44 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I have a Italian daughter and I started dry shaving her (middle part of her) eyebrows at age 2! If I didn't they would of grown together. She started waxing at age 10, my old school mom in law said to dye her eyebrows until age 15, but really, blonde unibrow or no unibrow? I said no blonde hair on my brunette.
    Yes times are changing but that has nothing to do with self esteem. Waxing, shaving and getting a bra,period is part of growing up! Some school age kids will pick out any flaw they can find in others, your job is to help her find compassion for those kids. So as she ages pick your battles and love& listen to her daily, but old school or not, if she's trying to ask you, you should consider listening.
    Bless you, and good luck...
    MikkiB

    Answer by MikkiB at 9:39 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

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