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Why does it seem as if SOME new moms will not listen to experienced moms?

Has anyone ever noticed that some moms are internet or book moms now. They don't think anything an experienced mom tells them is true. Some moms believe that a baby can't eat food until they are at least 6 months,some think if they cut a child hair they will not be able to speak ever. If someone has children already why is it so tough for some new moms to listen. Experienced moms are trying to hurt your kids. What is really puzzling is they will ask for help sometimes and still do it their own way...

 
Godswk

Asked by Godswk at 8:19 PM on Jan. 26, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 9 (282 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • I get what you're saying, and I agree. And I am a new mom! I believe that learning by trial and error, along with the experiences of other moms, is the way to raise your child. Not going based off of what some organization says, I don't care HOW qualified they are.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 8:24 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I think that maybe some of them are curious at how other mom's have done it. My mom and I battle over the way that I do things. She thinks that her way is the only way and I feel like I need to discover things on my own, but I also like to know what other moms have experienced.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 8:20 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I think everyone has their own perception on what is experienced and what isn't. Would you listen to a 40yr old mother with 2 kids or a 22yr old mother with 4 kids? Who's more experienced? I think everyone has their own experience and since everyone chooses to raise their children and do things differently it's hard to listen to someone else tell you how they think it should be done, when in your mind as a mother you already know how you want it done. Some people want to learn it all by theirselves and although they might listen to another mother and may be curious about how they did it, it does not mean that they will actually take their advice.
    smnice

    Answer by smnice at 8:24 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Motherhood is a learning experience for every woman no vmatter how many kids you have whether its your 1st or your 4th, you just take in all the advbice that you absorb and you go the route that you think is best for you and your child. I don't neccessarily think its the fact thast they dont want the advice from experienced moms but more of what they agree with and are comfortable with trying at first. With my son I was a do it by the book kind of mom, I now have learned to loosen up on some things.
    JAJA_Steele

    Answer by JAJA_Steele at 8:24 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Just because a mother is "experienced" doesnt mean she has all the answers and the unexperienced mom should just follow her advice blindly.

    I never did and learned and decided what was best for my children on my own. NO help needed.

    They do it their own way b/c they can, want to and have the right to do so. ;)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • because experience does NOT make you a good mother. I have never heard that thing about the hair, that's just stupid, but seriously, just because you popped out a child does NOT mean you are knowledgable.

    As a first time mother, I didn't listen to experienced moms because none of them parent the way I feel is right. The mothers I knew were all mainstream and wrong about many things and I refused to buy into the "well we did it this way and our kids are fine" propaganda. My mother pulled that on me, and I definitely don't want to mother like she did.

    As for solids. It is healthier to wait until a baby is older, especially breastfed babies. No matter what some other mother did it doesn't make it right. Better safe than sorry for me.
    celticreverie

    Answer by celticreverie at 8:29 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • SOME experienced moms still don't know what the hell they're doing. Even if a lady raised 50 kids I still wouldn't trsut everything they say. I know what's best for my baby, not them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Exactly what celticreverie said to a tee! I was thinking about how so many people are extremely proud to announce that their child was "just fine" despite what education tells us about the situation. I personally would rather have a child that does not have to beat the odds, so to speak. Just because one person rolled the dice and won doesn't mean the next child will end up the same way. Why take a chance on something so outrageously important? Why? There is absolutely no intelligent reason to expose your child to negative possibilities when the solutions, while taxing and tedious at times, are so simple. Why take a chance even if that chance is a million in one? I would kick myself forever if I didn't do everything possible to prevent my child from harm.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Times change. My son is 4 and from when he was born till my 3rd who's 9 months the feeding and car seat guidelines changed. I think it's best to come by your own decisions. I ask for help from other's to get another prespective and it's not meant to be disrespectful to their parenting abilities if I don't go with what they say.
    My grandparent's had 4 kids, 8 grandkids and several grandkids now. They tell me that they put pablum in their kids bottles at 3 months or even younger, the kids rode in the car in their mother's arms or in a car bed, that just sat on the seat with no buckles or anything.
    Times change and so does parenting. Hopefully ever parent gives their child the best they can.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 8:52 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • My ex-sil had 7 kids.

    I'd never listen to anything she has to say about child rearing. Now that I have my own kids I see where she was (to my feelings) very wrong. (I cannot agree with making a 2 year old sit on the potty until she pees...even if it's an hour later...just so "she gets the idea")

    However, if i ask for advice, I will read/listen to it...but then I make my own call
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 9:07 PM on Jan. 26, 2009