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3 Bumps

I think it's my fault!!! I need advice

About two years ago my DH and I decided to stop drinking. We started drinking again in Dec. but only at home. Recently, he has traveled and he has had drinks with the guys. My DH can be a heavy drinker, but last time ( over 2 yrs ago) he drank heavy he was sloppy ( which caused the whole stop drinking). I fear he might do something stupid. I don't think he's drinking to get drunk maybe two, three drinks tops. Just bothers me! I started having anxiety attacks ever since his first trip. I think it's because I over think things, we honestly have a good life and I pray to God everyday nothing ruins it. I have not seen my husband drink out of control, he's traveling for his business. I'm sure he's maintaining a good appearance for his company, but I have my doubts what can happen. Should I tell him to stop drinking? I don't want to be a nagging wife or a controlling one. This is killing me inside, I get depressed, anxiety attacks and fear bad things and have bad thoughts. I shouldnt feel like this. I have not told him how I feel :-( I say it's my fault because it was my idea to bring a six pack home to drink. Back in July after that we didn't drink until Dec. that's why I think it's my fault.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:33 AM on Apr. 29, 2012 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Nope- not your fault. If he's an alcoholic or has alcoholic tendencies, he has to be able to control his urges. You can't avoid being around alcohol for your whole life. If you entertain, you should be able to serve your guests. If he's out of town on business entertaining clients, he has to know his limits & be professional.  Maybe you can attend an Al Anon meeting for more help.  GL

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:01 AM on Apr. 29, 2012

  • Suggest he have something non-alcoholic instead. Since he knows the alcohol can get out of control. Suggest he go to AA.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:36 AM on Apr. 29, 2012

  • It's not your fault. He's an adult and ultimately he's the one who makes the choices. Tell him how you feel about his drinking and all your fears and worry and anxiety it is causing you and the family. Ask him to stop.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 8:41 AM on Apr. 29, 2012

  • It's not that you gave in to this destructive behavior, but it allowed him
    To think it's okay to keep drinking. Remember this: it always gets worse, never better. Please start attending A.A. Get the Big Book and READ the first 164 pages. The reason why The Big Book looks big is because of all the alcoholics stories in the back. I suggest to be completely straight up and honest with him about how you feel. My SO and I stopped drinking a year and a half ago. You will not regret quitting!! At least, I haven't! ;)
    onelove1982

    Answer by onelove1982 at 10:51 AM on Apr. 29, 2012

  • hugs...i am sure he is in control with job obligations. He will be ok. DOn't stress about it.
    jossstone1969

    Answer by jossstone1969 at 10:56 AM on Apr. 29, 2012

  • If you had opened the beer and pried his jaws open and poured it down his throat willy-nilly, THAT would be your fault. This? Not your fault.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:41 PM on Apr. 29, 2012

  • rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:46 AM on Apr. 29, 2012

  • Maybe get him to agree to a 2 drink max always. I personally never have more that 1 drink out and 2 drinks at home.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 3:33 PM on Apr. 29, 2012