Should I tell my sister in law about her sons upcoming hernia surgery?

My husband and I have custody of his sisters children. They have lived with us since they were born and we have had custody for a year and a half. She has eow visitation but rarely shows up. She doesn't pay child support or offer and support for them. How should I handle the upcoming surgery?

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Asked by aunt_of_2 at 1:07 PM on Apr. 29, 2012 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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I'd tell her, he is her son.

Answer by onelove1982 at 1:09 PM on Apr. 29, 2012
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Nope.

Answer by FreeForAll at 1:15 PM on Apr. 29, 2012
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I think for your nephews sake in case she decides to show up to see him, you dont have to tell him that you told her just in case she doesnt show.

Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 1:15 PM on Apr. 29, 2012
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Next time she comes to visit the kids let her know.

what is eow?

Answer by feralxat at 1:16 PM on Apr. 29, 2012
Credits: 133354 Level 41 Preschoolers (3-4) Minor

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I am kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place. She's family which makes it difficult. She doesnt attend and doctor visits when ivtell her about them. She doesn't give them their medicine when she has visitation. The youngest has asthma and doesn't get his daily br3thing treatments when he is with her unless I give them to him. She has supervised visits. Part of me is saying tell her other part is saying no because she doesn't do anything else for them so why should I tell her about this.

Comment by aunt_of_2 (original poster) at 1:20 PM on Apr. 29, 2012
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Whats the worst that can happen if you tell her?

Answer by Farrahann at 1:24 PM on Apr. 29, 2012
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What would be best for the child in question?

Answer by BrawnwynII at 1:28 PM on Apr. 29, 2012
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Best thing for them is to have no contact with her due to lifestyle she chose to lead. she doesn't come to dr visits ball games or call to check on them. She doesn't see them unless its her scheduled weekend. She knows shecan see them when she wqnts and we don't keep her from seeing them.

Comment by aunt_of_2 (original poster) at 1:36 PM on Apr. 29, 2012
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Then I wouldn't tell her. Your only moral requirement is to do what is best for that child, imo. She clearly isn't what is best for him.

Answer by BrawnwynII at 1:37 PM on Apr. 29, 2012
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I would tell her on her next visit. If she asks why she wan't told before hand you simply say because I didn't see or hear from you beforehannd. It sounds like the kids would benefit if she had no visitation.

Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:43 PM on Apr. 29, 2012
Credits: 39909 Level 29 Preschoolers (3-4) 101

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