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I am a single mom. how do I let me gaurd down and let someone in me and my daughters life

I am a single mom of a 2 year old girl. I have done everything on my own without any support from the father. I am totally independednt. I have been seeing someone for 4 months. He is a really good guy and is totally in love with my daughter, and is great with her. It is so hard for me to Let my gaurd down and let him in my life all the way. He tries so hard to help me with certain things and I totally shut him out what is wron gwith me????

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Asked by happymom200 at 10:22 PM on Jan. 26, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • Nothing. You are doing exactly what you should be doing. You are being a great mom. Do not let your guard down until you know this man alot better. Don't ever leave your child alone with him either.. not until you know him alot longer than 4 mos.

    Answer by pupmom at 10:25 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Do it slowly.

    Answer by louise2 at 10:27 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I have known him longer than 4 months it just took me that long to actually go out with him. I am so scared about letting my daughter get attatched to somebody and then we break up or something,

    Answer by happymom200 at 10:30 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Take it slowly. I met my DH when my son was 21 months old and I didn't allow him to even meet my child, other than a "hi" and "bye" b/c we were working at the same place and it couldn't be avoided. When I was almost certain that he was the one, I slowly but surely allowed him to be a part of my son's life. We have now been together for just shy of four years and he is the best thing that has happened to us.

    Answer by micrespo at 10:32 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I met my husband when I was 18 (I'm 40 now), and he was the one who got me away from my abusive ex. I knew he was the one when we started seeing each other, but it takes time. There was already the trust there on my end...don't think I would've let MY guard down so quickly with anyone else.

    There's nothing wrong with you. Give yourself time.

    Answer by rhope4 at 10:35 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • You have to be really ready. Sounds like you are not. I intentionally focused only on my twins for the first two years, saying I wouldn't date until I needed to be comfortable being just mom first. It wasn't until they were a couple months shy of three that I was really ready to date. Now, it's easy to let someone in. Fortune smiled, and the one that found me seems to be a keeper.

    Answer by halfpint_ny at 10:45 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Nothing wrong with you dear, you are just doing what you should protecting your child! If I were you I would make sure his background is clean, spend enough time with him to see how he reacts when angry, see if he is basically the same all the time. You can also just let him be around your daughter only when you are in the room and just let him be mommy's friend, then if things are going good after a good long while IF you feel confident you will let your guard down without any reserves. The best way to find that out is spend long periods of time together to see the good and bad. Decide from that! I would do back ground check to you can never be to safe!

    Answer by 1countrygal at 10:56 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Thats normal. After my son was born I wouldn't let anyone in my life. Couldn't do it. Didn't want my son knowing another man. But my Husband came around and swept me off my feet. I didn't let my guard down he pulled the gaurd down. 9 years later and we are still going.

    Answer by MrsTGray at 11:33 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • It would only be fair to let this man know you feel this way and if he is not willing to wait, then let him go, it probably sounds cold but your looking our for your child's best interest right now.

    Answer by Ibelucky1 at 11:47 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Get child support. You can put it in the bank for your child's weddding, college fund, car, down payment on a house, etc. Don't cheat your child out of her money out of pride. Now, about the new guy. Trust your instincts. Don't rush things. Use birth control so you don't get yourself in another situation if it doesn't work. Take it slow and let him prove himself. You will be fine.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:50 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

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