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How can a parent love a child more if they are in a religion?

My moms ex-boyfriend of 20 years is the father of my 2 sisters and brother. He has recently gotten into the Jehovah Witness religion and my youngest sister has as well. The father seems to treat the one that is involved in the religion better than the one that is not. It just hurts to see this..because my other sister is on the voulenteer fire dept...taking emt classes, is graduating school early, and going to college. And her dad wants nothing to do with her because she dont want to go to their church. Is there anything i can say to make this easier on my sister? she is really heart broken.

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Asked by tber22 at 10:34 PM on Jan. 26, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (12)
  • Ugh, I hate that. I had a friend that was forced to wear skirts all the time and never cut her hair, never do anything! Because of her dad. Her mom went to another church and her dad use to say she was going to hell. Then when my friend got old enough and decided to quit going to his church he said SHE was going to hell and told her little sister that "mommy and big sis" were going to hell.
    I don't like people of "religion" who are like that! Can't stand them!
    That's why I am not part of organized religion.
    I believe in God, I serve him but I'm not going under the law of religion I'm under the mercy of God.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • well, obviously she is old enough to think for herself... really, i dont think there is anything u personally can say to make her feel better. just be there for her when she needs that extra support she may not be getting elsewhere.

    Answer by Phippsandrea at 11:09 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • You can tell her he's an idiot not worth her time or tears.... and then take her out for really good Mexican food & margaritas.

    There's really nothing to can say to make it easier --- that will just come on it's own in time --- but margaritas usually do the trick for a short fix ;-)

    Answer by Laura1229 at 11:14 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • it seems to me that the father and the other sister just have something in common and that he doesn't know how to connect with his other daughter. i don't think that means he love her less and his religion more. they just need to find some common ground to breach the gap. i do believe that time and prayer can help bridge that gap. i'm sure that he is very proud of his daughter both of them. he just isn't very good at saying so which i'm sure you can agree is that most men don't know how to express themselves. i would tell her he does love you just doesn't know you. that is not her fault but his. it's really does suck for her. also for the sisters cause it seems this would come between them as well.

    Answer by melody77 at 11:27 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Phippsandrea that was kinda rude... I would try to find some common ground that her and her father share as melody77 said.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:08 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • You can ask my mom if you want. . .

    it really sucks to be in this position for the kid. Sometimes just listening and empathizing is enough.

    JW's can be a little. . . passionate. We had ones knocking on our door twice a week even though we had no interest in joining on them

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:55 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • That's a shame. That's when religion is SO WRONG in my book. Recently I told my kids that I wanted them to "make time" for God every Sunday but I didn't care if they went with me to my church or went to church with a friend or even chose to watch it on TV. It's really awful when religion draws that kind of a line.

    Anyway, I would just let her know that you've noticed her being treated differently and that YOU are still there for her whenever she needs it. Obviously you can't take the place of DAD but you can be a support nonetheless. God Bless!

    Answer by jenettyshome at 7:30 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Unfortunately it happens more often then one might think.

    Support her thats about all you can do.

    My family treats me this way and all they know is that we arent active in the church. Cant imagine what they will do when they learn we wont ever return.

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 8:07 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • AS a Jehovah Witness i can say that this behavior is not a teaching as people above have said. It has not one thing to with the religion. It has to do with the father and how he may feel. One individule person does not represent an entire religion. Not that it is righrt to put one child above another but they may just have more in common. I think as a few people wrote above she should find more things in common with him. Also i would like to add that he is NOT a Jehovas Witness until he is Baptized.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I do agree with the need to find something in common that will bond them. I also agree with the posts above that say that this is what often gives organized religion a bad name. I am a Christian, and I do not believe that if one of my children decided not to be involved in organized religion that I would love them any less or treat them any differently as God does not love us any less if we don't claim an organized religion. If I were you, I would just tell her you see how she is being treated, ask her how she feels about it. Let her talk to you if she needs. Maybe have a conversation with her father about it and see what is really going on. Maybe it IS that he just doesn't feel like he has as much in common with her.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 11:32 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

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