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Does anyone else have to do this? Are we wrong?

Our middle child is 3. She is very rambunctious and loud and is always into something. We have baby proofed as much as we can, but she still manages climb on chairs and get into things when we aren't looking. We recently upgraded her bed from a toddler bed to a full-size bed with head board and foot board, and underneath the mattress there are slats. We've always had a locking baby gate on her bedroom door, because the molding around her door is broken, so the door doesn't latch. We recently had to tie the doorknob to the baby gate, so that she couldn't get the door open far enough to slip her hand through, to open the baby gate which she figured out how to open. She's been taking out the slats of the bed and climbing on the bed to open the windows.

I am considering removing the bed frame, and just leaving the mattress in her bedroom, no toys, no dresser, nothing, but I'm afraid that it will look like a prison cell. It's bad enough that she bangs on the windows when she's supposed to be taking a nap, and I'm honestly surprised no one has called the police on us thinking that we are holding her captive, which is why I'm concerned about what her bedroom must look like to an outsider.

I just feel that having the door tied to the gate and removing everything in her room is the only way to protect her from getting into the other rooms or tearing apart her own room, or jumping out a window when she is supposed to be taking a nap or supposed to be in bed for the night.

Are we wrong for this? Are there other solutions? I feel so horrible! We never had these issues with our 9 year old, so this is new territory for us.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:24 AM on Apr. 30, 2012 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (12)
  • Lol... Not wrong. Me n my sister are not as outta control as our youngest sister. She is a hand full... My dad had to switch to plastic storage bins for her toys n clothes... Shorter curtains and matress was on the she broke her room door off the hinges and shattered her window. Just guide her slowly let her have those things back... My son has colorful cloths bin for kids (plastic) and a low kids Disney pixar Cars bed (plastic) only because I'm scared he will hurt himself. He is a calm child but better to know he won't fall off the bed n brake his neck. But that's me as a parent. Ppl raise their kids differently :)

    Answer by christinkie at 2:41 AM on Apr. 30, 2012

  • You are not a bad parent for showing concern... Protecting her is your duty.. you are doing fine for now

    Answer by christinkie at 2:42 AM on Apr. 30, 2012

  • Yoiu just described my dd! lol! IMO, Mom's with 3 yr olds should get hazard pay and free xanax for the duration of the child terrible 3's. The navy SEALS could learn a thing or 2 more about what duration really means!!!

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 2:53 AM on Apr. 30, 2012

  • you can get a saftey bar for her window, fix the molding OR you can get a door and cut it in half and make a door like the old nureries had where the top could stay open or be latched closed too. that way the bottom part can always be closed.

    no reason anyone should be worrying about your business enough to come look in her window. If I saw a little one at the window I would assume they were playing or supposed to me napping so dont worry about other people :)

    the mattress on the floor sounds perfectly okay since she is usig the slats as tools.

    hang in there, I have learned to always expect the unexpected with our 3 yo.

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 7:33 AM on Apr. 30, 2012

  • Without over analyzing these are the first things that come to mind when I read this...

    Maybe she doesn't need a nap?? If she that nuts at nap & bed time does she still need a nap??
    How does she get out of the room to use the bathroom??
    What if there is a fire in the house... how does she get out if you are compromised??


    Answer by Crafty26 at 8:09 AM on Apr. 30, 2012

  • I think its unusual. I think she doesn't need a nap. How does she get to the bathroom, how would she get out of there if there was an emergency? Good luck

    Answer by meooma at 8:22 AM on Apr. 30, 2012

  • Just reading this....I think that she needs a little more discipline and guiding in the right direction. That is not meant to be mean. I have a 4 yo that would be into everything if she hadn't been guided in the right direction and punished in the proper ways ( what works for us may not work for you---we are tough) she would have destroyed our home and her room. FYI I have my DD and my niece baby gated into their section of the house after they go to bed. I also have the door knob turned around backwards so the lock in on the outside. I have special locks high on the windows that they can't reach. I have meds put into other rooms so they can't get to them. I have baby proofed my home to the best extent possible. The one thing that I have is a SO that thinks about 5 steps ahead of our DD b/c he was the type of kid you just described. Good luck!!

    Answer by coala at 9:48 AM on Apr. 30, 2012

  • How much time does she spend in her room?

    If she's fascinated with the window, I think you should address that first of all. Make sure it is secure...whether with some kind of childproof lock, an alarm, or something else.
    It might make sense to take the mattress off the frame to minimize climbing/taking apart.

    I see that you seem to be worrying not so much about someone looking in her window (as luvmygrandbaby guessed) but rather getting a home visit because of someone calling to report the window-banging, and worrying what a social worker would think upon finding an empty room with a mattress & a child gate to prevent her exit.
    To me, it depends on how you are using the room & how much she is locked in there. (I wouldn't think this would be where she'd spend much time during the day, since there are no toys or other stimulation.)

    I agree she may be ready to give up naps.
    My top priority would be to address her frustration.

    Answer by girlwithC at 12:11 PM on Apr. 30, 2012

  • I am concerned with the locking her in the room. I do not feel a child should ever be locked in a room....but that's just me, I guess. Kids are messy...if she messes up the room, have her help you pick it up. Move her bed away from the window. If she is not laying down to nap anymore, maybe she doesn't need a nap. My sons tried to climb on chairs to get things and I was constantly telling them to get down and ask for whatever they are after. They have now learned to ask for what they need, not just get it themselves, but my two year old has to be reminded daily. This child is three. How would she get out of the room if there was an emergency and you couldn't get to her? You need to teach her to stay in bed at night, not just lock the door. It will take time and you will spend a lot of time walking back and forth to her bed but she will catch on if you stick to it and show her you mean business.

    Answer by khedy at 12:13 PM on Apr. 30, 2012

  • A lot of the problem, is that her bedroom is on the second floor of the house, and ours is on the first. When we go to bed at night, there is no way that we can protect her from getting out of her room and into other parts of the house without tying the door to the gate. She does have an older sister who is 9, who would be able to quickly open her door in case of a fire. She spends most of the day in the living room with her brother and I, in which there is a gate to keep her from getting into other parts of the downstairs portion of the house. She validly needs a nap still, since she still gets crabby. She is not potty trained yet, so there is no need for her to get into the bathroom, which is half the reason she's not potty trained, because we can't trust her to be in the bathroom by herself, without getting into something or starting the water to the tub or sink and flooding the house.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:23 PM on Apr. 30, 2012

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