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i just had my second child by c section and the entire experience was different and more difficult. I had more aches and pains and had to see my ob gyn more due to age. My question is does it make me a bad mom if I don't want or desire breastfeeding my second child? I started in the hospital, but she only likes the right boob and is very demanding when it comes to feeding. Pumping is tiring me out combined with my anemia and my 3 yr old. Give me some good advice

Should i continue to breastfeed when all i want to do is quit?  I pumped for 6 months for  my first child, but I want to quit after only one week with my second child.  My first pregnancy I delivered at 28 weeks.  My second I delivered at 39 weeks. 

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Jan. 26, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (12)
  • honey, as long as you feed your baby something (formula or breastmilk) you are not a bad mom. Letting her starve would make you a bad mom!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I agree with anon. As long as you feed and love your baby. You are a GREAT MOM!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I am not sure if you are coming here for people to "let you off the hook" sort of speak or if you want someone to say DOn't Give Up you can do it. This too shall pass. You are not a bad mother unless you starve her which i doubt is the case. To me breastfeeding came naturally and I never had a c-section either so it's hard to say. I personally would stick with the BF. Have you thought about getting in touch with a lactation nurse that could come and help you with this? some will come to your home to help you. Only you know your body. Good luck!:)

    Answer by SgrplmsnSnflwrs at 11:44 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • Previous poster is RIGHT!!! You'r more tired now cuz of anemia and a 3yo and a newborn. Before it was anemia and a premie premie. Feeding what is important not how to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I would say give it some time, sweety! Emotions are high right now and you don't know whether you are coming or going at this point in time. I had a c-section and breastfed and I can honestly say I came so very close to quitting, but....I held on and I am so glad I did. We are still breastfeeding and she just celebrated her 1st birthday. Hang in there, it gets easier, I promise! Just remember what a great and selfless gift you are giving your child. I am very proud of you for choosing to breastfeed! Your child Will thank you someday. As for her choosing one side over the other, that is normal and they eventually (I know this doesn't make it easier) level out to both sides.

    Answer by sunnygrl2 at 11:49 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I know you are tired and so sore right now but try to surround yourself with a good support group and that will help a lot! If you don't have a good enough support your local la leche league and they will help you and it's free! Good job momma....keep up the good work and if you need any help or support email/chatter me! I will help any way I can, because I know these are Very trying times!! Also, since I had the c-section the pillow that was a tremendous help for me was called My Breast Friend. It helped me so much. I hated the boppy!!! :) Hang in there sweety!! **hugs**

    Answer by sunnygrl2 at 11:50 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

  • I didn't want to breastfeed either. I really despised it! I had c-section also and had real tough time with breastfeeding. Although, I forced myself since many people told me that breastfeeding is much better, so I ended up pumping milk for 6 months. It's entirely up to you. It won't make you a bad mother. I just chose to believe the myth of breastfeeding.

    Answer by erlsk at 12:03 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • What makes a bad mom is a person who is too tired to care for their children. If you can't BF b/c you are in to much pain and it is to taxing on your body then stop. Just make sure the baby eats. If you can pump a little and get her a little bit it is like liquid gold. I made it 7 months pumping only. I know it it tough. Don't put yourself in the position of being a bad mom b/c you can't be there for you LO's. Good luck on the decision you make.

    Answer by coala at 12:29 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • This is exactly what happened to me. I was SO WEAK from the anemia, in major pain at my incision site, which didn't close until 5 weeks pp. I felt like I was dying. I had no energy and I could barely eat. I made to about 3 months and then I finally just switched over to formula, because I knew my milk didn't have much to it. My dd is now 6.5 months and doing great. (She was 6lbs 9oz at birth and is now about 20lbs) If you really want to continue nursing, well then keep trying, it will get easier in time. However, if you really want to quit, but aren't in fear of being a "bad mother" . . . well that's just nonsense. A happy healthy mommy is always better for baby.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 1:01 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Some good advice is this:
    This is a hurdle that women sometimes have to jump to get to the good parts of their BFing relationship.
    Stick it out.
    You're only 1 week into it. You're still recovering from major surgery, that surgery in itself has made you detached from your child, you've got another little one to deal with, and yeah, babies are demanding- they like to eat, and they like to be held. It's tiring.

    Rather than quitting BFing, I'd just ask for more help from DH, family and friends. It's okay to have a "mommy day". Call your mom, MIL, or BFF over to take care of the kids.. Lay in bed and sleep with babe, and just BF the day away.. When she needs to be walked around, pass her off to your helper..

    Answer by Liyoness at 3:19 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

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