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My friend's son was caught stealing money from my daughter. How should this be handled?

My daughter set some money down on the table while we were at a friend's house. It disappeared; so we assumed she misplaced it and looked for it for over 45 min. We questioned both her son and mine if they had seen and both denied it. After looking, I pressed the issue more with my son and he voluntarily pulled his pockets out and asked his friend to do the same; his friend hesitated and said nothing was in his pockets, but when I pointed out that I heard a rustling noise, he pulled out $5 and claimed he found it in his room. His parents countered knowing he did not have $5 at that time and asked why he didn't bring it up when we were looking. He became angry and was sent to time out. He never admitted what he did nor apologized. He's 11 years old. I feel he has broken my trust, but I just want him to understand the seriousness of the issue and how it affects his friendships.


Asked by saveabrain at 11:39 PM on Jan. 26, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (2)
  • He is young and mistakes are inevitable. The problem here is that he is your friends son and we all know how parents can get protective over there children. Let her punish him the way she sees fit, but if you feel comfortable ask her if he could apologize to your DD with the two of you present. After he apologizes accept, but take that opportunity to remind him that is not how you treat friends and that he should respect the golden rule. He would like to be able to lay money on a table a feel secure about it. I'm sure he is not a bad kid, and probably feels bad. I'm sure it will all work out in time, it is just not worth risking your friend feeling like you are coming down to hard on her son. Maybe you should even ask her what she thinks about you talking to him, and run what you might say by her. This way she knows everything is appropriate and still feel in control. Let her know you trust her to take care of this.


    Answer by Cris1128 at 12:09 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • since he's not your child & you got the money back, let HIS PARENTS do the handling of THEIR son stealing.

    I wouldn't allow that kid back in my house though...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Jan. 26, 2009