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What would you do? What are some good requirements?

Very important need opinion please

My husbands sister, Julie is 17 (18 May 7th) and she has a son who is over a year old. She currently lives with her mom and dad but things are not good. Her parents are 9 month behind on the mortgage. She is trying to file for child support, and the dad said when she does he is going to try to get custody. The fact that her parents are so far behind on the mortgage could hurt her because it could be seen as an unstable home.
she got pregnant at 15 and dropped out of high school, in her freshmen year. She said she would go back to get her GED after she had the baby, but of course that didn’t happen. She doesn’t have a job, and simply can’t take care of herself. We are thinking of helping her by letting her move in with us. With some rules and requirements of course. I just want some opinions.

Answer Question

Asked by Mrs.Morimanno at 12:34 AM on Jan. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • I would talk to your hubby and set the rules then talk to his sis. I would make it so that if she doesn't do certain things then she will have to go. I would first start with the GED. You don't have to go to school to get it. You can buy the books at Borders and then schedule to take the test. I wish you all the luck. By the way in most states the judges side with mom on custody. They have to prove her unfit to give custody to dad.

    Answer by coala at 12:37 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • sounds good and if she don't follow those rules then id say hit it jack

    Answer by josalin at 12:38 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Wow. I don't know if I would go for that. I probably wouldn't get involved... I think you could be getting way in over your head there. But, thats just my opinion.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • i agree with the first poster..i wouldn't force her to get her GED just, support her. as for her, i would beat the dad to the court house first and file for custody and then do the child support..

    Answer by tnteaton at 12:49 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • My concern is that if she doesn't follow the rules, where are you going to send her? I'd have a back up plan ready....

    1) GED
    2) job
    3) curfew
    4) visitors
    5) who is in charge of the toddler
    6) childcare if she wants to go out
    7) once working, helping with expenses (or not?)

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 5:30 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I think it is noble to want to help her, but I would be sure that she understood the rules and agreed to them before she moves in. It might be a good idea to write them down and even have her sign them. If you have other children, she should have to abide by the exact same rules as they do. One requirement would be that she go back to school and that she work part-time. The rest of the time she should be home, caring for her child. There would be no social life in the beginning. First, she would have to prove that she could handle school, job, and child. That may sound a bit harsh, but she made the choices that landed her where she is. She has to now take the responsibility that goes with those choices.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:08 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I agree with setting rules. I'd make them pretty relaxed though, you don't want her to feel as if you are trying to control her life.
    Rules being that she clean up after herself and baby, help around the house, get her GED. I wouldn't try to set limitations on her that a parent would though.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 9:10 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Well, we let my sister move in with us because we wanted her to move back to Michigan from Illinois because her son was here with it's father. He got the okay from my sister to move back here with their son who is 4 and she didn't bat an eye. So she eventually moved back and moved in with us. We had rules that were not followed and we were not going to be her crutch. She needed to learn responsibility. So we told her she needed to move out and she did with my mom. I would set rules and make sure you keep to them. When she get's a job make sure she pays for gas, food and her own need's of things. This will only teach her responsibility

    Answer by mommyqua at 9:17 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

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