Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

He won't talk about it because he is serious this time, and doesn't want to B.S. me

So tonight I asked my SO why he won't talk about getting married to me and he said its because he takes our relationship more seriously than he did with anyone else, and that he doesn't want things to be how they are right now and get married, right now we live with his mom, and he said he doesn't want to go off and get married and go on our honeymoon to say okay lets go back to his moms house now, which in a way I understand. But why won't he at least say someday? He hasn't said no, and when I told him I am just going to forget about it he said dont so WTH is the deal can anyone give me some sort of insight here what am I missing should I just let things be? Its not like we have been together for years, actually its only been a little over a year but at least I think about it why doesn't he?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I don't understand either. We have been together for 6 years. He wants to get married but has yet to propose. His reason is that he wants to be able to provide completely for his family. He wants to own his home, and he doesn't want me to HAVE to work. I can work if I want to, but it won't be necessary. I can understand some, but not all of what is going on in the mind of a man.

    Answer by coala at 12:41 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • He obvioulsy does think about it since he gave you his thoughts on it. What is going to change once you two are married?

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:42 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • He has a good point.. Why is it not enough for you??
    And by the sounds of things he DOES think about it.. What more do you want from him? The wedding details??

    Answer by Liyoness at 12:42 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • You need to work on getting the two of you independent from his mother... and it sounds like that's what he's saying.... from what I gather, he doesn't want to never talk about the subject... but that right now is not the time.... you two need to be on your own... and he's totally right about going back to mommies house after the honeymoon.... Short term - get your own place.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 12:43 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • It sounds to me as if he has his priorities in order. You said yourself that he never said never. I would want to have my own place and a better lifestyle before I tied the knot. I think that he is doing the right thing and you should trust his words and not push b/c he is not saying no he is just saying not now. Good luck:)

    Answer by micrespo at 12:44 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • OP here  I am not really sure of what I want him to say honestly, I am not even sure if thats a good reason, I mean its not like we dont live like we are shoot we have a five month old baby, we are a family, just not independent yet, and its not like either one of us are getting any younger (I am 25 he is 29), I guess I just feel like we already live like we are so why not just go get married


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Op, sounds like he wants to make things "right" before he marrys you and you just want a legally binding agreement. Which is more important to you?

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:54 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • OP here no its not that I just want a legally binding agreement I just want that level of commitment from him

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • why should he? You give him everything he wants from a marriage without the responsibility. You save him the cost of a wedding, having your own home and financial responsibilities and even the cost of the divorce when it doesn't work out. Move out. Make him date you and want to live with you and be married. The way it is the man has no incentive to marry you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • i have that problem too lol. honestly i have made it clear thats what i want. He has said he wants it too. however he hasnt asked. he asked if we can get married at disney and i told idk you have to ask me to marry you first lol. But i dont want to push the issue because years from now i dont want to feel like he only asked because i kept pushing good luck and if you find something that works let me know lol

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 2:00 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.