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My husband has a plastic cousin who is always trying to get me to go to the gym with her..

I wouldn't mind going to the gym, but this particular cousin is completely vain... she only eats one meal a day, literally starves herself if she so much as gains 2 lbs, her hair and make up has to be perfect for the gym and she's really kind of loud and borderline rude to people, like always making faces and rolling her eyes at people... I've told her no, but she keeps asking.... I don't want to hurt her feelings, but sometimes I really feel like saying "honey, there's not enough room in your world for anyone but you"... I just am not a vain person and I can't stand people who are overly vain like that... we really have nothing in common. So you ladies help me decide: Suck it up and go because she's family or just keep telling her no (it's been almost 3 years - I don't think she's gonna give up and she hasn't got the point yet)?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Have you asked her why she wants you to go? You'd think she'd find someone else to go with after you've been turning her down for the past 3 years. Sounds kind of weird IMO. Have you flat out told her..."stop asking me" ? Maybe you'll need to blunt...but as nice as possible. If you don't want to go .. you don't want to go.

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 1:00 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Why not go? Maybe you can rub off on her and maybe you can actually learn somethings from her.

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:57 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I agree with Legalmommy...and its only a trip to the gym...whats that like an hour? You wouldnt have that much to lose. Get fit and maybe get to know her a little. You may rub off on her know her in a deeper way.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:01 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • OP here... I don't have a problem going to the gym, but I do Tai Chi and Pilates.... she wants to dress up in the freaking hip-hugger pant with her thong hanging out, belly shirt, full make up with hair done and prance around the weight gym with all the guys..... I sorta feel like I respect my husband (her cousin) more than to act like that. Plus, I don't feel like I NEED to be seen...ya know?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Oh and we're not in our 20s - we're closer to 40...I just think it's inappropriate to NEED to get that kind of attention when you're married and committed. Like she has really low self esteem and I don't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Yeah she must have really low self esteem. But you don't so you don't have to mimic her at all just because youre there with her. Not saying you HAVE to go. Just saying you could and it probably wouldn't be that horrible.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:12 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • You could go with her and make it a point to wear what you ordinarily would, and do your normal routine. It's possible she'll never ask you again! And if she does in spite of it all, what's the worst that can happen? You tighten up a few muscles?

    Answer by pagan_mama at 1:38 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • My daddy used to say don't spend 15 minutes of your life with anyone you don't want to be with bc you will never get that time back. Life is short. Spend it with ppl you like and want to be with.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:45 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • i would tell her that you are getting tired of her asking and explain that you have children and they are your first proirity so you just dont have time and you would like it if she stopped asking

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 1:56 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • She sounds lonely. And sad.

    Maybe you should say "I can't go to the gym but I will go to the bookstore with you" and just sit and talk. Try to dig a little deeper - I mean, it's been three years and you sound like you don't know her at all. Even YOU are just looking at the surface.


    Answer by Wimsey at 4:15 AM on Jan. 27, 2009