Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Three years later and now she wants to see him?

So a little bit of back story, my DF and his ex broke up when my SS (I hate calling him that!) was 9 months old. He has not seen her nor talked to her since then. And now that he is 4yrs old, she wants to see him. She has no parental rights and hasn't for a while. She never did the classes that was court ordered in the state of AZ. Now we all live in CA, ironically in the San Diego area. But I just don't understand why she wants to see him now. On the court papers she even got his age wrong! I mean how do you get the age of your child wrong?

I am worried that if she does get visitation, I am praying for supervised visitation just for the simple fact that, I don't want to send my SS that neither of us know, you know what I mean? And I am scared that she is going to try and push the whole she is his mother thing on him, he is 4, I dont think that he will understand that to much. I am the only woman that he has ever really known as mom. I am the one that takes care of him everyday, taught him how to count, and everything else.

But above all else I am scared about what affect that this could have on my SS!

Any advice or tips or anything really, would be greatly appreciated.
*Not sure where to put this.


Asked by LiLJeni at 7:41 PM on May. 1, 2012 in Relationships

Level 30 (44,491 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • if she signed off on all parental rights
    only your Fiance could allow time
    it is up to him
    the bio mother could file in court for visits? and then it will take lots of time in court, and she would most likely not get to take son for vistation

    what is your fiance thinking and saying about all of this?

    sorry you have to go through
    hoping after you marry, you can adopt your son (if that is your intention) assume you feel that he is your son

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:00 PM on May. 1, 2012

  • Dear Fiance people!

    Anyway OP, I completely agree with Meooma. Are you saying she's filed papers for visitation? How could she even do that if her parental rights have been revoked? Or did she just write you a letter saying she wants to see him?

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 7:54 PM on May. 1, 2012

  • As far as I know, if rights are terminated, she can't file for visitation. I wonder if she did some lying to get a lawyer to write up these papers for her? Or if the court is even going to actually take them seriously?

    Regardless, if her rights have been terminated, I'd think she's going to have a rough time even getting supervised visits, much less anything else. So I wouldn't worry too much.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:00 PM on May. 1, 2012

  • If parental rights have been removed she has no rights to anything. She does not have the right to insist on visitation. If the df (husband/boyfriend/significant other?) says NO she has no recourse. You, or more accurately df(?) in in complete control fo the situation.

    Answer by meooma at 7:46 PM on May. 1, 2012

  • That's what I'm saying! How can she even do that?

    Man, I think I'd talk to a lawyer about this before you do anything at all

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 7:57 PM on May. 1, 2012

  • Her rights were terminated in the courts? Then she has NO RIGHTS AT ALL. ZERO ZIP NADA NONE She can't demand anything. In the eyes of the court she is not longer the mother.

    Answer by meooma at 8:01 PM on May. 1, 2012

  • I agree with Wendy. I bet she lied to an attorney, by not "mentioning" she has no parental rights

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 8:06 PM on May. 1, 2012

  • if she was not granted court ordered visitation then you are okay, at most with a time frame of 3 years and no contact she would likely only get supervised if any visits.
    why did your fiance not file a motion to terminate her rights when she dropped out of his sons life?

    Good Luck, hope it will happen as to what is best for your Little one

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 7:49 PM on May. 1, 2012

  • You can file ANYTHING with the courts. That is why cases go to hearing/ trial.
    Seriously, I could FILE to get visitation to your dog. All you have to do is get the paperwork and pay the fee, don't even need a lawyer.

    However, being able to file paperwork and get what you want in a court order are two entirely separate issues.
    The ladies have offered great advice. This will probably get laughed right out of court.

    Answer by feralxat at 8:19 PM on May. 1, 2012

  • DF? SS? What?

    Answer by FreeForAll at 7:42 PM on May. 1, 2012