Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Help ! How do I deal with a teenager?

I'm starting to go through some changes with my teen. I have made it a mission to always listen to my child during good and bad times. I wanted to be different from my mother. Children were to be seen and not heard, I didn't have a choice and my feelings certainly did not matter. I have never tried to be my child's best friend but I am trying to keep open communication. I'm noticing lately when I tell my child to do something, sometimes it goes in one ear and out the other. I mentioned to my child last night punishment will begin. My child looked at me and smirked as if they were telling me this was not going to take place. I was so angry, I walked away to gather my sanity. I refuse to be disrespected. At this time, I'm considering placing my child. Please tell me what you think? I love my child very much and I don't want to hurt my child but when the disrespect takes place I feel this way. I go above and beyond.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • what do you mean placing your child?
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 8:59 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I don't understand what placing is either?
    mom2fivekids579

    Answer by mom2fivekids579 at 9:05 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Oh momma this is soooooooooo normal for a teen that there is almost daily a question about teens not listening and disrespecting their parents! I do know how you feel though, like not an effective parent right? My mother was in charge of every aspect of my life and I am trying to walk the same line as you, not a friend, but let my ds (15) have a say about his life and feelings and be able to talk to me, but it is hard not having been raised that way. Feel free to message me if you want to b^tch, I have found that this site makes me realize that I am by far not the only mom having a hard time with teens and (sadly) sometimes I read things on here and feel a little better that atleast it's not that bad.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:07 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Really, what do you mean "placing your child"? As far as respect goes, YOU can give an inch or they will take a mile.. YOU have to teach them that at a young age..
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 9:07 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • huh? Are you saying your teen is hormonal now but was a normal child when younger? Whether or not that's true you just don't place your child to someone's else's custody, family or state, cuz they're just not listening. Hospitals lots of times have parenting classes not matter if you have younger kids or not parenting classes could help you. Is your kid into drugs or drinking that you know of for sure? We all wonder if our kids could be have early sex. But setting rules and following through on them is what matters. By your kid smirking at you she knows or he that you rarely follow through on punishment. You're the parent, you have a right to have rules made. You can't make the kid follow them but you can decide no specific privileges or general UNTIL rules maintained not just followed a couple of times. I have a teen and two other kids in their twenties.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Teens are like our own little mirrors, they show you sometimes magnified, how well of a job we really did! And boy oh boy can it suck to be the parent of a teen at times! Then other times, it can be our proudest moments....


    "Placed" if it is what I am thinking, sending them into the system, is your what get out of jail free card?


    This anger might be displaced, her smirk made you mad, after calming down you know why she did it and you it pisses you off. That's on you not her! Cannot teach a teen something they already know.... you can say every dog can learn a new trick, so put on the new uniform and stick to your guns when it comes to consequences!!!! Time will prove to her respect goes both ways...

    MikkiB

    Answer by MikkiB at 10:06 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Placing them where? Teens are difficult. I have one, so I can understand, but this is the point where we decide to be a parent and work at it. We created this child and though they were all cute and cuddly as a baby, they are now mini adults and have the resources to talk back to you. There are many ways to work on this but I am kinda at a loss because it seems like you arent willing to stick it out and do the work. If that werent the case, the you wouldn't have said you were thinking of placing your child. Normal people don't just think like that. This WILL (no question) cause issues of abandonment and rejection in this child and MORE issues will arise. A lot of times teens test the boundaries to see not only what they can get away with, but to see if mom and dad will stick with them. My teen knows without a doubt that nothing she could do would ever cause me to reject her...ever.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:39 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • thats right have a kid then give it up when your tired of it & can't handle them .
    once a kid gets in the system they are they for ever. eventually to go on to more difficult lives, crime,drugs, all because some weak ass parent decided that they can't handle their kid anymore.
    don't breed if you don't want the responsibility.
    i have teens myself , i alos don't have the support from a dh, mine died. i'm the only parent . do you think i like doing this all on my own> hell no. but i love my kids & do it anyways. they know the consequences if they do something wrong.
    your the adult here act like on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • My olders is 11 and drives me crazy too...lol
    Mindy1018

    Answer by Mindy1018 at 1:45 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • wat do you mean placing your child???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:20 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.