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Golly gee, guess I made my son mad at me.... yet again!! :0/

last night he got in a little late because they had a function at school. He still had some homework that he had to finish so I told him if he went to bed that he would have to get up and finish it this morning. Well, he was already hard to get up, but did a lot better than what he usually does.

He was having  his breakfast and was working on his homework.  He then asked me if he could take some cards to school with him. I told him that if he didn't finish his work then no he couldn't. He wasn't as mad as I thought he would get.

Here's the kicker... we get to school and I guess they have something on Wed. for them to bring change and get something at the snack bar after school. He asked if he could have some money and I told him, "No, you didn't get finished like I asked you to." That's when the fit starts. He grabs his books and gets out of the car all mad.

But for the first time.... I don't feel guilty for not giving in to him. I gave him the specifics of what I expected and he didn't do it. I just feel like I shouldn't give in to him just because he "wants" something. My son is 12 btw...

Yay me!! :0) lol

So to make this a question... hom many of you moms out there have the "mommy guilt" if your kids get mad??

Answer Question
 
goofygalno1

Asked by goofygalno1 at 9:24 AM on May. 2, 2012 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 27 (30,602 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • i only have guilt if its my fault..as in, i was in a bad mood and reacted as such, rather than my usual calm demeanor.
    *cough*
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:28 AM on May. 2, 2012

  • This.Is. Beautiful

    No guilt here unless, as Dulls says, it's clearly my mistake/bad mood. Even then, it doesn't bug me long but I do apologize.

    In your case, do NOT apologize LOL
    BrawnwynII

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 9:30 AM on May. 2, 2012

  • hahaha.. I swear I think I am/was the poster child for guilt... even if it wasn't my fault! I am trying to break myself of that.. off to a good start, eh?? lol
    goofygalno1

    Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 9:30 AM on May. 2, 2012

  • I, for one, am incredibly proud. It gets easier the longer you do it
    BrawnwynII

    Answer by BrawnwynII at 9:31 AM on May. 2, 2012

  • Thank you Brawn!! I know for sure that it's been a struggle with him... More is never enough for him... he continues to want want want and not do what's expected of him. I know it's going to be a long road, but with some major hard work... we can get there.. :0)
    goofygalno1

    Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 9:34 AM on May. 2, 2012

  • very funny dull.

    OP - I have an 8 year old who I say that to - "do you ever get/have enough?" I'm fearful and guilty that he already has some entitlement issues. Scary
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:47 AM on May. 2, 2012

  • He got super mad at me the other day. He didn't get up like I asked and I told him that when he gets in from school after chores, dinner, etc. that he was going to sit on the couch for the evening. I don't think he knew I meant business. lol
    goofygalno1

    Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 9:54 AM on May. 2, 2012

  • I hear ya meooma... speaking from experience, nip it in the bud while you can!!
    goofygalno1

    Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 9:59 AM on May. 2, 2012

  • My 10 year old gets mad at me so often it has lost any real meaning.

    I just assume everything will piss him off, and things that don't are just pleasant surprises. I would have more guilt if I did everything I could to keep him from ever getting upset.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 11:02 AM on May. 2, 2012

  • I don't have guilt over them getting mad. (I don't automatically feel like it's my fault.)
    But their getting mad used to bother me, so I can understand it.

    Now, I don't feel like it's "their fault" or they are "wrong," either. It's not either/or with SOMEONE guilty! lol

    Their being mad is a consequence, or result of a situation. (I'd see your son's upset as being his disappointment over the situation.)

    Anytime I'm mad at them for their feelings, chances are there is some kind of guilt or self-blame going on (unconsciously), though. This is what I try to notice when I'm irritated.
    I feel regret for things I do/say or the way I behave/messages I send at those times, whether big or small. And I do make amends for those things (which just means I accept responsibility for myself & am clear about the fact that they are never the cause of my feelings, even though I believed that/acted as if that were true when I acted that way.)
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:23 AM on May. 2, 2012

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