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My hubby wants everthing perfect but some times when I get a little down he gets mad at me and reminds me of all the things I had wrong to him this and that I am fed up these things nobody is perfect.

he complains looking at my facial expression.
but he loves me cuz i think , he buys me polo t-shirt ,tommies sweaters e.t.c.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Your problem sounds exactly like my marriage. He puts me down and makes me feel bad about myself too, but when I try to make him see how his behavior affects me, he doesn't see it. What gets me through is my daughter. I look at how amazing she is and I know that I AM doing something right. No one can look at my daughter and deny that I am a good mother to her. When my husband is hard on me, I just let it roll off my shoulder and concentrate even more on doing something extra nice for my little one. She can always cheer me up.
    Danielle720

    Answer by Danielle720 at 9:55 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • No one should list past faults or offenses. One main ingredient in arguments between husband and wife is that the present topic is the only one to be discussed. He should not be dredging up past complaints. He should also speak in a quiet, pleasant voice. I wonder if it would help if when he starts on this that you look him in the eye and say in a quiet voice, Let's keep this discussion to the present subject, please. So you don't like that I didn't do the vacuuming today, right? . Listen to what he says and then say, I couldn't get to the vacuuming because... And so forth.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:57 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • ANYONE who "keeps score" is not a true friend or partner! Your husband may THINK he is perfect, but he is not--NO ONE IS, and he needs to be reminded of that fact! You husband is controlling and manipulative, and may even suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

    If you cannot do it yourself, then you really should talk it over with a trained therapist, and learn HOW to stand up for yourself! What is the WORST thing that would happen if you DID stand up for yourself...would your husband leave you or physically abuse you? If yes, then you are better off without him!

    Life is too short, and everyone deserves to be happy!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:58 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • He's mean but you think he loves you because he buys you stuff.

    Was I ever that young???
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 10:04 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • You can't let your husband make you feel like you're wrong all of the time.He's not respecting you.I recommend getting him into counseling with you.He needs to learn how to live in a loving and respectful marriage.I used to have a boyfriend that was like this.Everything I did was another opportunity for criticize me.He gave me a hard time for furrowing my brow (it'll give me wrinkles), or for how I opened a cereal box, for the way I drank out of a can (I opened my mouth and poured it down my throat rather than sipping it apparently), I mean everything I did.Eventually I realized that it was his problem and not mine.My only problem was have low enough self esteem that I actually believed him for a while.I finally up and left him, but it was hard to come back from the years of constant criticism.He was in my head for a really long time.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:18 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

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