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3 Bumps

What are you lo's relationship with one another???

My ds is 3 will be 4 in Oct.. My dd is 7 months.. and everyday is something new but the love they have for eachother is so heartfelt... my dd looks at ds like he is the world.. and ds just want to protect her and make her happy... i know this wont last forever so I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

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mommys2cupcakes

Asked by mommys2cupcakes at 1:36 PM on May. 2, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 37 (95,091 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • To the OP, I wanted to say that it can last. Nothing is ever 100% positive/loving (feelings always change), but if you allow their feelings to be what they are in each moment without disallowing the "bad" stuff as unacceptable (resentment, negativity, even hatred), then you can foster a strong & pure bond.

    My oldest was 4 when my twins were born (her baby brothers.)

    She now is 8, and they are 3.5

    Lots of mutual delight, appreciation, kindness. Lots of other stuff, too, but mostly expressed (versus "acted out") and when they have that freedom to HAVE their feelings, they can move through them & find resolution, and love.

    I would say they really feel the love, most of the time. The big sis celebrates her brothers in a way that is very special to us (her dad & me) and very enjoyable (as a parent) to witness. The twin bond is magical & astonishing. And their relationship to their big sister is no less important or immediate.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 5:34 PM on May. 2, 2012

  • Mine are 9, 11 and 13. They fight of course, but overall they get along great.
    RelaxedMom2-3

    Answer by RelaxedMom2-3 at 2:42 PM on May. 2, 2012

  • Not that is awesome

    noel lol that is so funny that they are 10 days apart..
    I want to do something spec for him this year.. i was thinking a pirates dinner and adventure..
    mommys2cupcakes

    Comment by mommys2cupcakes (original poster) at 2:21 PM on May. 2, 2012

  • We are currently working with a family counselor to help us all work better together and to help us understand how our family dynamic 'needs' to be in order to be healthy for both children AND foster a good sibling relationship.
    NotTooWorried

    Answer by NotTooWorried at 2:17 PM on May. 2, 2012

  • DD is 7 and DS is almost 5 but has Moderate Autism...

    DS relationship to his sister is much different than her relationship with him, if that makes any sense. He sees her as a playmate at times and other times just another presence in the house... someone who feeds him form time to time or helps him get things.
    DD sees him as a playmate sometimes and a hindrance at other times. I think there are times where her resentment towards the amount of care and attention he requires is very strong and very real. We try to work through it and help her to better understand and we try very hard not to, too often require her to 'take care of him' outside of typical sibling things. There really is a fine line there. Sometimes I have to step back and ask myself 'Is it really 'fair' to ask Hattie to watch her brother at the indoor playground for a while...or am I just trying to use her as a babysitter...'
    NotTooWorried

    Answer by NotTooWorried at 2:16 PM on May. 2, 2012

  • well, i have three daughters. they are 5, 3 and 2.

    generally, my older two get along wonderfully. the 3 year old has such a profound admiration for the 5 year old, literally copying everything she does down to even to breathing the same way. most of the time my 5 year old entertains that but at times it does annoy her. when my 5 year old is at school, is the only time my 3 year old acknowledges the existence of my 2 year old. they typically play together great then, but as soon as 5 year old gets home, the 2 year old no longer exists anymore. lol it's kind of sad, but i'm sure once they're all in school and apart from eachother for hours a day things will change. all in all i dont have any complaints, they are 3 great kids, especially for what they've been through in their short little lives.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:59 PM on May. 2, 2012

  • wow, ten days apart. that's funny! my 10 & 7yo get into a lot of disagreements, but lord help someone who is messing with the one of them! there was a kid messing with my 7yo and my 10 yo got in the middle of it. she did something to him to make him scream, me and the other mother came running over just in time to hear, "nobody but me is allowed to hit her! she's my sister not yours!" they were 7 and 4 when that happened. truthfully i have never seen her so mad like that, that the mother didn't say a word she just grabbed her son and left the park.
    noel1978

    Answer by noel1978 at 1:54 PM on May. 2, 2012

  • My son will 9 October 15th.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:51 PM on May. 2, 2012

  • My son is 3.5 years older than my daughter. She thinks the world revolves around him. The first words out of his mouth at the hospital were: Can I hold my baby sister now? They can be the best of friends, they can also be the worst of enemies. BUT, no matter how much they bicker and fight they will not allow anyone to hurt the other.

    A few months ago my son was willing to take on 4 kids as old or older than him (he's 8 but looks like he's 10) to protect his sister.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:49 PM on May. 2, 2012

  • My almost 11yo dd and 12 yo ds love each other to pieces. They fight of course, but they also play together so well and always have been an endless source of entertainment for each other. My 21 month old dd and 3 yo ds are the same way - but my little ds is just learning how to play with his little sissy and I love watching him teach her how to play trains or do the puzzles. It's great!
    The two little ones think every thing the older ones do is utterly fascinating.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:45 PM on May. 2, 2012

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