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It is ok to tell your child's other parent to stay out of your lives?

My sons father & I were married. After 3 months of abuse (& me 2.5 months preg), he left 2 be w/some1 else. She was preg but not w/his kid. He has raised the child like his own but was not in my sons life at all (not even 4 his birth). His dad since had 3 other biological kids (5 kids total). I have told my son that his dad was married & living in another state but never that he had other kids. In Sept, @ 7, I finally told him & have been having problems with him since. I decided 2 get in contact w/his dad & let him know what was going on. At 1st, he was nice & we could call @ anytime. Also, his current wife & other kids weren't living with him, they were back in my state. Eventually he came here so he could see my son (at age 7). At 1st, things were good. Me & his dad got along & we saw him alot. Now we don't get along. He yells @ me & tells me he's not gona come around but then calls the next day like things are fine.

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lalmond67r

Asked by lalmond67r at 10:49 AM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • It's all about what's best for your son. If having his dad in his life has been good for him, find better ways to deal with dad. Get a schedule and stick to it, or tell him you only want to talk to him to discuss visits and hang up if he tries to talk about anything else. If having him around/in and out is not good for your son, then give him an ultimatum and tell him he needs to stick by his word or get out of the way.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 10:54 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • There are definitely situations where kids are better off without someone in their lives, just because he made that baby does not mean he needs to be around and this sounds like one of those situations.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • ahh i know what your going thru!! this is what is best for you SON not his dad. its all about your child and that is it. if he can be mature about this and respect you and your son..he should not be around. have a talk with your son and say i dont think he should be around because hes not being a good person to us. its not healthy to be around someone like that. and it could get worse. so be careful. your son is obviously old enough to talk to so just talk to him about everything. its in the best interest of your son.
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 10:57 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • i agree with the first anon too
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 10:58 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • oh and the other posts ha
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 10:58 AM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I noticed that you said "we see him all the time", this time with his dad has been good for your son...so you don't want to let that go. Try to set a schedule that the dad can come and get your son and spend time with just him, this way the tension between the two of you doesn't enterfere with what is best for your son.
    TMC706

    Answer by TMC706 at 12:03 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

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