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Where's the line between helping and just being mean?

The worst kind of evil you can be is a kind that you don't recognize and disguise as effort toward a perceived end. How do you know when your actions or words to someone that you're trying to "fix" aren't invading their own personal rights/beliefs/privacy? Everyone's entitled to their own opinions, right? Do you, or when do you "force" help?


Asked by motherofGood at 12:03 PM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (30)
  • No one person knows what's best all the time. We all know what we know and continue to know more through our agreements as well as disputes.  Or grow in our learnings...

     We all have learned to "agree to disagree" at times to keep the peace. But there will always be the small few that will not only draw the "line" but cross it...



    Answer by gmasboy at 4:09 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I don't force help. Let them know you will help and be genuine and they will eventually reach out to you if they need help.

    Answer by TurksMommy at 12:05 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • i.e. If you like to get a "rise" out of people by {offending} them on CM, in an effort to "make them think" and question their beliefs you perceive as wrong...

    Answer by motherofGood at 12:09 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Problem with that is some people consider the very existence of other religions as a personal assault on their eternal salvation. It's not the world's job to walk on eggshells around those people and refrain from discussing their own beliefs in their presence.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 12:11 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I know women on here that like to go around, look for people to attack, start bashing, and then try to play innocent, because they think they are doing right. Personally I find it immature, annoying, and disrespectful. These people aren't looking to "fix" things they are looking to degrade others because they have nothing better to do than to lift their own faltering lives by bashing others. . Sorry op, for venting.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:13 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Yes! I agree with both answers so far. Real help is learned when others reach out to YOU. Also, if you instictively force your beliefs on others, others will be looking to stay away from you. And isn't that a cornerstone for religion, to think about others (as people first, then maybe for belief systems).

    What do you think would work for someone like this to realize this exact point?

    Answer by motherofGood at 12:19 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • xxhazeldovexx: It's okay to vent about it, that's the problem--that some kinds of people actually think their immature, annoying, and disrespectful behavior is justified in the name of Good somehow. They lash out and thrive on this kind of stuff.

    So how do we encourage mental hygiene? It's kind of important that we try to do something about them right? Or do you simply take it and wait until they reach out to YOU?

    Answer by motherofGood at 12:28 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • the thing ive started doing is just not respond to them. they want an argument. they want a rise. they want a fight. im a christian, and i was accused by another christian on CM a few days ago of compromising my faith because i refuse to beat people over the head with my bible. you have to gain respect of other minded people before they will listen to what you have to say. she was kind of ugly in an indirect way, even after i offered to clear the air.
    boy howdy, i had alot i was saying to the moniter, but i didnt engage her by using the keyboard. and that was the end of it. maybe if we start using our own self restraint and not engage these types of people....who knows.

    Answer by ivelostmyself at 12:49 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Judging. Judging the other person. Judging their actions. Judging their morals. Answering the question without prejudice is almost impossible for some people. I may believe that christian mothers who are shacking up with their boyfriends are hypocrites, but I also know that doesn't pertain to their problem. So, I don't say this to them. I can't always answer the question itself and not the behavior or attitude of the poster, but I try. And if I absolutely can't, I back off. If I feel they really need help and I have a perspective that might help them, fine. If they're just posting some question that they know will cause drama and bad feelings, I have no problem acting like the atheist witch I am.

    Answer by witchqueen at 1:03 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I wonder at times if those who are trying to "fix" others are not trying to "fix" themselves, redeem themselves for something they have done in the past...
     By making another feel ashamed, hurt or fear the faith or lack of that they follow to me isn't justifiable of a "Greater Good" is and always will be disrespectful, and as far as I know isn't "Hate" wrong... 

     Let people come to you if they need too... let them know that you are there for them, but don't pressure, bash or hate... JMO


    Answer by gmasboy at 1:04 PM on Jan. 27, 2009