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Do you let your kids express themselves with their appearance or do you encourage them to stick with the "social norm"?

My mom said that since I was never in trouble, didn't do drugs, and was a good student, she didn't mind what I looked like. And I definitely earned the "weird" label in high school. =) But that's the philosophy I have too. If my kids aren't getting into trouble, I don't care what they wear (with the exception of being obscene) or what they do to their hair. I told my husband if we had had a boy and he wanted long hair, no problem with me. He said he'd cut the kid's hair in his sleep if he had to (even though HE had long hair in high school).

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Silvertears1275

Asked by Silvertears1275 at 1:34 PM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 4 (41 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Neither. The social norm is not ok and she's not trying to express anything. We're just jeans and t-shirt kind of people, all the time.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 1:35 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I plan to let my kids dress how they want, within reason. No super tight pants, no super baggy pants. No crop top shirts after the age of five (with that cute fat tummy hanging out) :).No multiple piercings, no body piercings. I just don't want them to dress like douche bags or skanks b/c I think if you dress the part, you might play the part. I think we have a responsibility to guide them gently through those years of uncertainty and angst... and if that means not letting them dress however they want, so be it. I'm the mama.
    sfwilson

    Answer by sfwilson at 1:37 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I keep mine within the social norm until they are old enough to say they want something different for themselves. I have 5 kids, 3 are teens and I have let the teens express themselves. As long as it isnt against school rules (for instance now having hair an unnatural color at school isnt allowed) then they can look anyway they feel comfortable, also agreeing not lude or obscene LOL. My 16 yr old has snake bites and a peircing on his eyebrow, my 19 yr old has peircings and is getting a tattoo, my 15 yr old doesnt like any of that and thats cool too. I dont have a problem with them expressing themselves as long as they are earning it though. Good grades, good behavior etc.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:40 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I don't know how I'll feel in a couple of years but right now my 8 year old wants the type of haircut, you know the one with the long hair in front coming over their eyes? Well It's just me but I can't stand that look! I got him a haircut and told him when he can pay for his haircuts(or lack thereof) he can decide how to wear his hair. I also wouldn't want him to dress like a bum because like it or not people judge you on the way you dress. But my niece dresses kind of goth nothin extreme but she actually looks nice! So I guess it just depends on how you wear a style if that makes any sense.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • My son is only 9 so there is not major stuff he wants to do now other than growing his hair longer (he has great strawberry blonde curly hair and it is adorable).. Once he is older we will be always be open to allowing him to express himself by how he does his hair or the way he dresses, as long as it is not extreme or creepy. :)
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 2:14 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Thankfully my 2 just sort of are who they are. We don't have to steer them one way or the other. Both are great kids on honor roll and easy to get along with. If they wanted to do some crazy stuff with their hair or something I would have to consider it. My daughter has two piercings besides her ears and thats as far as we are willing to go with that one. My son is just now wanting to grow out his hair...I hate the idea but it's his hair.
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 2:16 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • my oldest is only 4, but we have definite ideas of what will happen. i will not encourage my gids to go with the norm, or to be totally out there, i will encourage them to be themselves, whoever that may be. i will teach them about being appropriate (wearing clothes that aren't revealing etc), but they will be allowed to dress in the style they choose.
    jcsmummy

    Answer by jcsmummy at 2:22 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • My 14 year old has her own identity. I don't dictate what she can or cannot wear. She respects herself enough that I don't worry about skimpy, trashy clothes. She knows what's acceptable based on what she's been taught growing up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • My only stipulation with my kids is that they are decently dressed without profanities on thier t-shirts. The profanties goes to my 15 year old since he wears mens size in shirt. I wouldn't allow my son to wear baggies and I wouldn't let him wear girl jeans either because well, he might just want children some day. And I wont' let my daughter dress like a hoochie. My children will abide by their schools dress code. But outside of that (which really seems like a lot lol) I don't worry about the style my children choose
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 4:28 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • As long as its not obsene, sure. I'm mean my DD went to school with Green hair earlier this year. She's wanting to dye it purple (wonder where she got that idea from, oh wait ME) when summer gets here.
    Wyndi

    Answer by Wyndi at 6:25 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

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