I just found out my ex husband was admitted to the hospital yesterday because he's suicidal

holy crap, i don't even know how to process this information! yes, it's obvious he has issues and i've known that for quite some time (hence a big reason we aren't together) but i just never in my wildest dreams saw this one coming. i'm not a spiteful or vindictive person though and i am glad that he is receiving the care he needs to hopefully get better.

however, i planned to go meet with an attorney this tuesday to get started on filing for a divorce (we've been split up since july of last year). i just came up with the money, and it's the only day off i can get right now. would i be a cruel person for going ahead with my plans? him wanting to kill himself definitely does not change things between us. i have sympathy for him and everything but he's still a very mean, abusive person and i want to dissolve our legal ties as quickly as possible.

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Asked by tnm786 at 12:04 PM on May. 5, 2012 in Relationships

131907 Level 41

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I think you should move forward.

I know you sympathize with his situation but, truly, you must move forward with your life while he works to heal his own.

Answer by BrawnwynII at 12:06 PM on May. 5, 2012
Credits: 107325 Level 39 Relationships Major

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i agree. i have so many emotions and thoughts running through my head right now after finding out that he went off the deep end... especially since he's claiming that our recent feud was what sparked everything. i definitely do not need that on my conscience. i know we both said some pretty nasty, hateful things to eachother but he's been not right for quite some time and it's wrong of him to place his suicidal thoughts on me.

Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 12:08 PM on May. 5, 2012
Credits: 131907 Level 41 Relationships Major
Exactly. Suicidal people, however, are at a point where rationalization is skewed. You can't own that. You can only own your reaction to it

Answer by BrawnwynII at 12:10 PM on May. 5, 2012
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Don't change your plans. See your lawyer on Tuesday and get started with the divorce.

Answer by meooma at 12:13 PM on May. 5, 2012
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Yes you should go forward! It's sad he has mental issues but he can't emotionally blackmail you like he's doing. A divorce is inevitable and he has to learn the coping skills to deal with it. Life has to go on for you.

Answer by Izsarejman at 12:14 PM on May. 5, 2012
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Just proceed. Good luck dear

Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 12:21 PM on May. 5, 2012
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Since he was abusive, you definitely need to move forward. This is a tactic among abusers to try to get you to stay. File those divorce papers and move on to a healthier life!

Answer by onelove1982 at 12:42 PM on May. 5, 2012
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does he have alone time with any of your children?
if so this needs to be rethought with your lawyer

Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on May. 5, 2012

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anon- nope. his visits are supervised.

Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 1:27 PM on May. 5, 2012
Credits: 131907 Level 41 Relationships Major
supervised visits only, then file those papers
good thing you do not have to revist the legal visits he has

Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on May. 5, 2012

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