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How do you tell your husband your thinking of time apart?

How do I tell my husband I've been thinking that we need time apart, or a change between us? He doesn't have a clue Ive been thinking about this and he also is very eaisily set off, so I have to be ....well I dont think any way I say it will not make him mad...any info helps...thanks girls

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • If it makes him mad it is only because he know you are right. I dont think time apart will make things change. You need him to compramise and it sounds like his pattern of behavior wont let that happen. If you are set in taking time apart let him know WHY and explain in detail what bothers you then tell him you are taking off for a few days so BOTH of you can reevaluate your relationship. Leave him with things to think about while you're gone. Tell him you love him but things need to change. Its only fair you both make an effort to hold it together...not just you.
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 3:11 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I believe, being honest, and to the point is the way to go. Sit him down, tell him whats on your mind, tell him what got you to thinking about taking a break. Honesty is the best policy and really the only way you can get around such a huge decision.
    KristinRox

    Answer by KristinRox at 2:46 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • My husband is also very easily set off. If I ever felt like that and tried to say something about it, he would imm. say "your obviously f**king someone else so get out". You might just need to leave and let him calm down before trying to talk to him about it if he tends to blow up.
    asholan_07

    Answer by asholan_07 at 2:50 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Before time apart, I wonder if it might be worth getting marriage counseling. This would be less of a blow and a smaller step than separation. If you are afraid of him, if he is violent toward you, then you need to protect yourself and should call social services to find a safe place to stay.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:50 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I wrote my husband a letter and left it for him to find when he was alone. He knew things were bad between us, but didn't realize they were that bad. If I had tried to tell him face to face, he would have gotten defensive and shut me out immediately. It was the only way for me to make my point and make him see that we had to make some decisions about our marriage. It was rough, but we made it through.
    Silvertears1275

    Answer by Silvertears1275 at 2:51 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • My ex was that way and I tried and tried to talk to him and it never worked. He would go off, accuse me of cheating, or threaten to keep the kids or tell me hateful things rather then look at why I wanted to leave. After 4 yrs of this bs I made a plan. I left with the kids and never went back. After about a month he finally calmed down and talked to me but still didnt understand WHY I wanted to leave or how problems were with HIM not just ME. So my advice is to make a plan, say nothing, just take the kids and go. Let things cool a bit then offer up marriage counseling or mediation of some sort. But if hes easily set off sometimes you dont need to tell them anything when they wont listen anyway.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Once one of you leaves the house and lives somewhere else for "time apart" things will never be the same. My exhusband told me he needed a break (never saw it coming) and I left. Our relationship could never be what it was before as much as we tried to get it back (after his break). Marriage is hard, and worth the fight. You should definately go to a marriage counselor first.
    pattigioeli

    Answer by pattigioeli at 12:19 PM on Jan. 28, 2009