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how does any of you mom's handle your very active and not listening defiant 4yr old?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Jul. 20, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (5)
  • Realize that it is part of how things are suppose to be right now.
    A 4 yr old tests limits, is learning independence and isn't going to act like a 10 or 20 yr old. There will be good and bad days. Accept that and work on setting realistic limits, showing good examples and enjoying your 4 yr old.

    Answer by ChattyWifePlus2 at 10:16 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • I am going through a similar stage with my 4 yr-old daughter. I used to be a real push over before this stage, but now I have to be consistent at all times. I recently read a book about counting 1-2-3, although it is not as simple as it sounds. The name of the book is 1-2-3 Magic by Dr.Thomas Phelan. The basics of the book are you need to count at a calm tone, don't talk your way through the count (i.e 1 i am going to send you to your room-2 you better listen to me i will send you upstairs- 3 i mean it last chance), on the count of 3 you need to follow through. Although hitting and swearing (as long as they know the meaning) is an automatic 3 and straight to timeout. My daughter always tried to give excuses at first, but now she knows I mean business (not to say we still don't have bad days, but things are starting to shape up). I hope this helps because I know the days when you might feel like you don't know what else you can do.

    Answer by valiant_woman at 10:34 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • Use less words...
    Get down on your knees...

    Answer by TXdanielly at 11:47 PM on Jul. 20, 2008

  • i give him 3 warnings then i smack his butt 3 times. but he is a lot better than he was now. and he's hyper but hes sweet and loving too.

    Answer by princezzmommie at 2:17 AM on Jul. 21, 2008

  • My 4 year old refuses to clean up after herself she makes all kinds of excuses and the bottom lip goes out and she defiantly tells me NO for everything I would never hit her because sometimes I don't think I would be able to stop!! I leave her in her room it is a battle to the death but I usually win it may take us 3 hours but she will eat her dinner and clean up her toys.

    Answer by momto1727 at 3:17 PM on Jul. 21, 2008

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