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some girls in the same class as my daughters called out some very vulgar remarks to her in front of all her friends and younger siblings while they were walking home from school. I want to inform the girls parents of her behavior, but am not sure of how to aproach them

my daughter is tweleve and has several friends boys and girls she is friends with allot of the boys because she is very active in sports, boarding and many other athelitic things. The other girls are telling her and all their classmates that she is wanting to have intercourse with her friends that are boys. I have considered that these are 12 and 13 year old girls who can be very abnoxious but there crossing the line when their calling out the f word while they are all walking home from school

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dancingpanza

Asked by dancingpanza at 2:53 PM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Are you there when it happens? Nothing wrong with saying, "Please keep that language in your home!" So what if they yell more stuff at you after that. At least they'll be aware that you have given a warning. Don't worry if your daughter might be embarrassed - she be thankful in the long run.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I'd contact the school. Schools are responsible and kids can be held responsible from the time they leave the house until they return to their house. That is harrassment, and it is sexual in nature. I would call the school.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:56 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • i would start a conversation with the school first. make them aware of the issue. then get their advice (other than to ignore the girls) on how to approach the situation. the school may decide to call all of the parents in for a conference to make them aware of whats going on. if they choose to do nothing, i would call each girls parents and just tell them you were informed of their girls behavior and that you would appreciate it if they could talk to their girls.
    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 2:57 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I think its the age. Just go to their house when you know mom or dad are home and ask them to step outside because you need to talk. Tell them what happened and dont be in their face just say if it had been my dd who said this to yours I would want to know and I would appreciate if you spoke with them about it. Then leave it alone. Your dd might get some crap because you talked to their parents but tell her if they say anything to say she had no idea you were going to. After that they should leave her alone.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:58 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • If it comes to calling the girls' parents, perhaps you can keep them more receptive to what you are saying by that you heard that some of the girls were using this language and that it likely isn't their daughter but they should be aware of the problem. If you say Your daughter is using this word and so forth, they'll immediately deny it and refuse to listen. So keep it non-accusing, and maybe they'd listen. I prefer the school route. Maybe the school could keep it general so that the other parents don't know who was doing the cussing and who was complaining.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:01 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • If I witnessed it I would be dragging those girls home by their ears and let the parents know what their precious children are saying.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 6:29 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I would report it to the school and see if they can handle this. You going out and handling this on your own could be alot of work and maybe dangerous.


    Sometimes, you just have to ignore stuff only because these girls sound like they are jealous of her and it is obvious they don't have a loving home like your daughter does.


    So for now tell your daughter to keep her head up and consider the source and continue to be the good girl that she is. That would be my advice.high five

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 7:09 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • The school is not responsible for what children do after they leave the school campus. I would go directly to the parents of these kids and have a talk with them. Tell your daughter to ignore it and just pretend she doesn't hear them. They are probably jealous of your daughter and want to upset her. No reaction to them on her part is a good way to put an end to it.
    Lisahi

    Answer by Lisahi at 8:10 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Um, thats what it was like for me when I was 12 but then afterwards when all these girls tease her of this she's gonna be skinny, muscled and beautiful cause of excersing while they re going to be self conscious about them selves and if they get so jealous to a point where they insult your daughter she can punch them in their post-nose job faces.
    RealityChecker

    Answer by RealityChecker at 2:04 AM on Feb. 9, 2009

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