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Married to a jerk!

My friends' husband is verbally abusive , vendictive, and controlling. He is hell bent on hurting my friend . Their son is being harmed by his parenting...or lack of. What can I do? She will not leave him or even consider a divorce! She is Catholic! I have adviced seeing a professional, but he refused and she is too proud to share her problems. ? It is like watching a train wreck! She has politely told me to mind my own business, I wish I could. I wish I could ignore it and pretend that I didn't know...but it hurts to be a friend to someone in this painful marriage! My heart aches for her child. This man lied to her about an accident that the boy had. He was 4y/o on a motorcycle with no helmet. And crashed! He still has brain damage and memory loss. her dh lied and said that the child fell at home. This is just one example of his 'parenting' skills. It scares the hell outta me! She is in denial...what to

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (12)
  • as hard as it is if she doesnt want your help you cant help her. She has to want to help herself and her child. I was in a abusive relationship for a long time and all my friends wanted me to leave and untill i had the courage to leave there was no talking me into it. But if the child gets injured again from his stupidity then i would call CPS but other wise you cant do much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • You are a wonderful friend to care so much. Alas as the pp said their is really nothing you can do unless the child is harmed. Then you should call CPS. As for the mother, she has to want help. I know you worry, I would worry myself sick as well. Hugs and love to you OP.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:01 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I am sorry that your friend is goin thru this, but until she asks for or goes for the help herself, there isn't much you can do... and if she has asked you to stay out of it, then as hard as it may sound, do what your friend asks...


     


     If the child is in physical and mental danger then you could call your local CPS agency and talk to someone there and see what the options are, but it sounds like to me that your friend doesn't want any type of help out of her situation...


     

    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 4:02 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Your friend may be in denial but that child needs help now. Call CPS and let them know whats going on.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 4:04 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • She has politely told me to mind my own business...


    Just be a positive influence and supportive of her. Sometimes all you can do is be there.

    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 4:08 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • YES and call CPS!
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 4:09 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Catholic or not... I'm not going into details, a relatives priest told her "Leave him. Divorce him, Get out now" So, as devout as you may be, there are ways to go if needed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Your best bet is to pray for your friend and her son. Continue being there for her. If you feel the husband/father is going to harm the child/mother then call CPS, but I warn you that they may not do anything, and you may hurt your friendship. Persuade her to spend time with you and your family as well as her son. And just be there for her.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 6:29 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Call teh ploice and tell them you have suspisions of abuse to a child in that home.
    Yea it may hurt your friend but wouldn't you rather she be out on her own that have her son possibly get killed?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:19 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Call CPS for the love of that boy. Then give her all the love you can.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 7:20 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

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