Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I don't want to "trick" my husband into having a second baby... who has?...

the funny thing is that MIL, my mom, and virtually every older woman I've talked to since said I just "have" to do it because my son needs a sibling close in age. I stand firmly against it... but it made me curious how many woman out there have done that. Also, do they regret it or feel guilty? Or is it just doing what you've got to do in your opinion?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My SIL did it. She told him it was an accident, but then he overheard her on the phone telling a friend that she flushed her birth control pills down the toilet. He felt so betrayed. They tried to make it work but ended up divorced when the baby was 2 months.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I'd never do it. I think it's a huge, selfish mistake but I'm interested to see how women rationalize this.

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 4:17 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I agree this is a bad idea. Then the man may grow resentful of the new baby and decide he wants to leave. I can't believe your mil would advise you to trick her son! I think it's more her wantin another grandchild then your son needing a sibling. Who's to say when a child "needs" a sibling?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I think it's a completely unjustifiable act. Relationships thrive on honesty and doing something so tasteless would be the ultimate betrayel. I would never be able to trust my partner again.

    Answer by Isa0524 at 4:29 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • That's how I feel- I agree with everything said in the above posts. Not a good idea...

    Answer by thesublimelife at 4:32 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I had a "friend" who tried to convince me to do this early in my marriage, because I was wanting a baby and DH was not, and I did not listen to her! THANK GOD, I think I would have totally regretted it, and would not trade the family I have not for anything!

    How could your MIL and mother actually be telling you that lying and deceiving your husband will be "good" for the family? I think this is very sad. I am sorry that you do not have anyone to encourage your own choices. And there is nothing wrong with waiting until everyone is ready to bring a new baby in to the world. Your son will be a great big brother at any age...not just to siblings close in his age.

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 4:32 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • If you want another child so badly, then why not talk to your husband about it? If you lay it out for him then you will have planted that seed, so to speak! Lol!! I don't think it's right to lie about it or to trick him. I think it would create a huge trust issue.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

Next question in Relationships