Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Still trying to be ok with myself. Any suggestions?

Ok so I need some help. I saw my husband today with his new girlfriend. We are separated and I am trying to move on. I was also with someone but I just can't get over the jerk. I gave him everything I had to give and then some. I just want to be ok, stop thinking about the hurt in my heart, and live.

Answer Question
 
Heather181

Asked by Heather181 at 4:19 PM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • its hard to get over some one that you love even when you want so badly to move on but you are a woman which means you are very strong you will be okay just give it more time and you will find it in you to move on and live life like you should
    jaksonsmommy

    Answer by jaksonsmommy at 4:22 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • You said husband so I assume you will be going through a divorce soon. My advice is don't try to get over it so quickly. Divorce is very much like a death. You will suffer...you will hurt...you will be angry...you will cry... and some days will be better than others. It's a process and it usually takes time. You'll be able to let go and move on when you've gone through the process. Good luck to you.
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 4:24 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • So why not get fully divorced and be done with it? Right now you still have that glimmer of hope with being separated. Yeah, it's hard and you may feel something for him always, but it will change with time. For now, only interact when you have to (assuming you have a child together) then stay away from him! If you just sit and dwell on the fact that you are not together anymore, you will drive yourself insane! Take up some kind of hobby, go out with friends, just concentrate on being the best mom you can be. It does get easier...but it does take time to heal.
    michelle121003

    Answer by michelle121003 at 4:26 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Your going to have to feel that pain to heal from it. It's the first step. Cry it out, & talk to us here on CM, your not alone. Lots of us had to deal w/ the same thing. Eventually it will pass.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:28 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I agree with samurai chica. It is one of those things in life you just have to push through and feel the pain until you feel it no more. You will be ok eventually and be able to get on with your life.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 4:30 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • So you are separated, and you both already are seeing someone else? As long as I was married to him, I would still be trying to work it out with him. Also, there is no way that either of you can expect to have a successful marriage with someone else unless and/or until you have healed at least in part from your marriage. You will go right into another one and make the exact same mistakes you made with each other. No matter how short-lived your marriage, there was a bonding of sorts that took place that has been broken. You will both, for the rest of your lives, carry a part of the other with yourselves. There is no way to ever be "over" the bonding that happened. A part of you has been lost forever, and I would not give up a part of me without a fight,.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:31 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • IT IS HARD BUT YOU ARE A STRONG PERSON AND YOU CAN MOVE ON .IT WOULD NOT BE NORMAL IF YOU DID NOT HAVE THOSE HURTFUL FEELINGS AS TIME GOES ON IT WILL GET BETTER BUT DO NOT JUST SIT THERE AND THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH IT HURTS BECAUSE IT WILL JUST TAKE LONGER TO GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE .THIS IS THE TIME TO PROOF TO YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE THAT STRONG BEAUTIFUL CARING AND LOVING PERSON THAT YOU ARE AND WHEN YOU LEASE EXPECT IT YOU WILL MEET SOMEONE ELSE AND THAT PERSON MIGHT JUST BE WHAT YOU DESERVE AND DON'T JUST SETTLE FOR JUST ANYONE YOU DESERVE ALOT BETTER GOD KNOWS AND YOU WILL TOO JUST HAVE FAITH I'LL BE PRAYING FOR YOU.GOD BLESS AND TAKE CARE
    summie321

    Answer by summie321 at 5:15 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Don't blame yourself for loving a jerk. We've all loved someone who wasn't worthy of us...Use this time as a learning experience to move on with your life and be with someone who will respect all that you have to give to them...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:35 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Why don't you find something to do? I mean like something that would keep you really busy and concentrated. I don't know, like continue your education, find a second job, start a business, volunteer, stay active in your community etc. This will keep you occupied and will help you get over it sooner!
    promisenatalia

    Answer by promisenatalia at 5:48 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.