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How can one parent complain about the other parent's parenting skills when their not doing anything at all?

my son's dad told me i spoil our son too much. he needs to be discplined. and he should be talking more.
my son is 1 years old. he will actually be 2 next month. i take care of my son by myself.
his father has not contributed to my son's well being in God's no when.
yes i buy my son things but I do not spoil. yes i discipline him but i am not going to abuse him. and yes he does talk but what do you expect him to recite a poem he's only going to be 2 for god's sake.

my son's dad constantly ridicules my parenting skills. when i am the one taking care of myson. i am buying diapers , clothes, food, etc. i am paying $480 per month for child care.

he does nothing for my son.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on May. 7, 2012 in General Parenting

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Answers (5)

  • as long as you are doing what you can... then what his dad says doesn't and shouldn't mean anything to you. If he's not taking the initiative to try and provide for him, then he doesn't have a say. That's the way I feel about it. I don't know the whole situation and I don't know if there are papers in place, but if there aren't then I would just keep doing what you are doing.


    My ex used to do the same and try to make me out to be the bad guy and he had my son brainwashed to his way of thinking. Luckily my son had a huge eye opener and now sees things for what they really are. Now mom isn't so bad after all!! lol 
    goofygalno1

    Answer by goofygalno1 at 12:47 PM on May. 7, 2012

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  • Maybe he feels guilty and so he wants to make you feel bad, too? He knows he's not stepping up and you are, so he wants to make you feel like you're not a good parent so he doesn't have to feel so bad.

    Discipline and being spoiled are somewhat subjective so it would be kind of hard to dispute his claims on that. All you can really do is decide if you're happy with the way your son is turning out, and if so, then keep doing what you're doing. As far as talking, does your son's pediatrician have any concerns? If not, then tell your son's dad that the doctor is not concerned, so there is nothing for him to complain about.

    Lastly, sounds like you two don't get along. I don't get along with my ex either and after years of letting him irritate me, I realized something. If I don't get along with him, why does his opinion matter to me? It shouldn't, and it doesn't. Work on adopting that attitude and don't let him get to you.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:32 PM on May. 7, 2012

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  • Then how does he know you are spoiling him?
    Did you go to court? DO you have a court order for custody and CS. If he is not paying you should repotr it
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 6:47 PM on May. 7, 2012

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  • "he does nothing for my son. "

    Why not? Doesn't he have visitation? Does he ever see him?
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 4:59 AM on May. 8, 2012

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  • There are many possible reasons that he'd complain. I'm sure feelings of some sort are behind his perceptions & comments.
    Struggling against how someone else is being or what they're doing/thinking/saying is one of the biggest sources of suffering in life. Seriously. It is essentially struggling against reality, saying something "shouldn't" be happening, that something is wrong.
    I have found a lot of freedom in realizing that others can have their thoughts & feelings, & it's okay.
    This is not about agreeing; it is about accepting reality, including accepting the present moment as it is.
    What someone thinks & says does not have to take away my sense of well-being or get me upset if I don't need them to stop or change.
    Working toward this place might involve recognizing the lay of the land as you see it. You express that you take care of your son; his father does nothing. Next, consider that he can have his opinion & you yours.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:59 PM on May. 8, 2012

    Credits: 16286 Level 23 1 star1 star1 star General Parenting Major
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