Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What to do about an unfaithful partner?

Well first I'll explain and then ask my question. My boyfriend an I are quite young, both of us are 21 and we share a beautiful daughter together. Over the course of my pregnancy we both strayed and cheated. Both came clean, and I haven't done it again. My boyfriend on the other hand has now cheated on me 3 times. And the last time was with one of my friends (whom is no longer my friend) I want to know what I should do about this as I'm lost. I'm a SAHM with no money of my own. If I'm to leave, I don't really have a place to go or money to use. He and I are planning to do counselling to see if we can fix things but I don't think it's going to help..Please I'm in desperate need of advice.

Answer Question
 
DesignerMom0801

Asked by DesignerMom0801 at 4:33 PM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (42 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • WOW! I don't know what to tell you. Do you have any work experience? Maybe you can start working when he comes home from work, & save up some money. Your going to have to work hard if you really want out of this situation. I was in a similar one (not cheating though, other problems) but, i was married. And eventually a door was opened for me & I ran like hell. A friend offered to let me live at her house until i got on my feet. It only took about 9 months to save up & get out on my own. But i did it. You don't have ANY family? counceling may work, he may grow up & realize he's being an idiot. Some men think w/ there parts more than there brain, & some grow out of that. Does he admit the cheating? Or do you catch him?
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:41 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • First of all don't go into counseling with the attitude that it work... keep an open mind... stay positive and give it all you've got. Of course you can only do your part, but a negative attitude doesn't help... Go to counseling and in the mean time start looking into community college courses... classes start at all times of the year and there are lots of programs that prepare you for a career in less time than you think.
    Dara.M

    Answer by Dara.M at 4:43 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • hes just going to keep doing it, if u truly want to go witch i would but im not u , there are shelters thet will help u get on ur feet.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Get job training. Check into part time jobs. Make sure you have a bank account in your own name. Take charge of your life. Get checked for STDs. He is not going to change, and you can do better than someone who cheats. Don't have unprotected sex with him or with anyone else, you don't want to bring more children into the world until you have a stable relationship. Could you live with relatives for a while? You would have to do your share of housework and pay your share of the bills- it would be only fair to them. You are an adult, take charge.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 5:14 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • If you are just bf and gf then I'm not understanding the cheating thing. You are not married and didn't take a vow to forsake all others. Go to a temp agency and get a job through them. Many will train you and it's a good screening tool for some major corporations plus you get to see what kind of jobs you like and what companies you enjoy working for before committing to full time employment with one company. I told my kids and grandkids to do that and they all have gotten hired on at great places using the temps first. Good luck on this.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:25 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • You are in a relationship with a man and he does not have the right to cheat on you nor you cheat on him unless its an open relationship but since you mentioned he cheated, I'm assuming it wasn't...therefore, you first must take care of you ...that means get yourself together. Is counseling what you want to do or are you doing counseling because you don't have a job to take care of yourself if the two of you should split? If it's the latter, then I suggest you move on with your life...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:31 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I'm sorry to say this girl, but you made with your own hands: You allowed this relationship get to the point where it is now! While being pregnant, you cheated and he did? Well, you were pregnant, and doing that, made your relationship an open one! It's just not serious and also it's irresponsible!
    Sorry....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Thank you so much ladies for input, I can't really ask my firnds or family for advice as they aren't neutral parties.
    I'm goign with an open mind, it's just hard to not worry that things won't work out. I really would like them to, I'm just not sure about either of our maturity levels.
    I guess I'm just scared of being a single parent..?
    DesignerMom0801

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 6:10 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN