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2 Bumps

My Fiance's coworker is flirting...

My Fiance is a paramedic. Sometimes he has to go out in the middle of the night on call and whatnot. There is this one woman who works for a different company whom they have been on a lot of calls together. They dont' work side by side, but if there is an accident or something they usually are both there. Now, I have known her ever since I was about 10 years old..so we have a lot of history. She and her husband are good friends with my parents (she is about 10 years older than me.)

Once in a while she will call or text my fiance, usually it's about work problems and whatnot. Sometimes it gets annoying constantly hearing his phone going off and it's her. Last night he was asleep and I was bored. I was using his phone to surf the web when he got a text from her it wasn't anything bad just something random about an accident she was just at. I began reading thier past texts back and forth to each other.... earlier that day they were bitching about the changes that were going on with in their companies and new rules. Out of nowhere she sent him a text that said "by the way you're really sexy when you're angry". He didn't respond to her, but kept talking about work stuff instead. I was so hurt by that because I have known her for so long and I felt completely disrespected. This morning he could tell I had something on my mind and I admitted to him that I had read his texts and what I had found. He told me that he did think it was a little weird but thought that maybe she was trying to make him laugh so he ignored it.

Am I out of line here or over reacting? I can't get it out of my head. I've always had this feeling that she had a crush on him but since I have known her FOREVER I brushed it off. but this is really bothering me! I can't even ask my Mom's advice on it because my mom loves her so much I'd hate to taint her feelings about her. ugh! help?

I trust my fiance 100% and know that he'd never do anything to hurt me especially cheat or anything.

Answer Question
 
rubberbranches

Asked by rubberbranches at 2:54 AM on May. 8, 2012 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • high school?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 AM on May. 8, 2012

  • I would talk to her.
    She's married she shouldn't be talking to another man
    that way let alone someone's fiance she's known for years.
    branlee90

    Answer by branlee90 at 3:07 AM on May. 8, 2012

  • She crossed her boundaries. Speak up for yourself.
    onelove1982

    Answer by onelove1982 at 4:59 AM on May. 8, 2012

  • If you were really secure, and really trusted your fiance, you would not have written this post. Make an appointment with couples counselor, and learn why you feel this way.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:22 AM on May. 8, 2012

  • I understand your problem to be her betrayal of you, and not your fiancé's. It doesn't sound as if she is your friend, which would definitely warrant a face-to-face... but it sounds as if you want to address the situation because she is part of your life via his work and your parents. I would just directly let her know that you saw the text and you don't appreciate her making such comments.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 8:00 AM on May. 8, 2012

  • It's his job to put a stop to the flirting. That's what I would expect of my husband if some woman was coming on to him. Anything you say can and will be used against you. This one even involves other members of your family. If you want it stopped, tell your boyfriend and ask him to put an end to it.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:04 AM on May. 8, 2012

  • Did you tell him that you read the text? I think that is a good place to start, and say it makes you feel uncomfortable that she wrote the sexy thing. I think that he isn't doing anything wrong by communicating about work, but she is trying to "cross" the line, and as long as there are men and women on the earth there is going to be someone who is willing to cheat, flirt etc.. if you trust him, tell him you read it and that he should tell her he wants to keep the relationship professional. I probably would have texted her back, and say, sorry honey he is asleep, but I will have him call you when he wakes up! It might be a good idea for her to know you see his phone!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:02 AM on May. 8, 2012

  • He didnt respond to her,doesnt that say something? Everyone flirts and yes she cross the line with that text but your man didn't play into it. I wouldnt worry at all.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 9:14 AM on May. 8, 2012

  • ONE comment, and he didn't feed the fire. I wouldn't worry about it. I would advise him to keep an eye out and if she should make a SECOND comment, to report it to his superiors. Sexual harassment is not tolerated within public agencies and new hires are always given training about it.

    He can always tell her that he did not appreciate the comment, even if it was well intended, and that she needs to re-read the manual on sexual harassment.

    But I wouldn't get worked up about it for one second.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:37 AM on May. 8, 2012

  • I laugh when chicks dig on my husband. It makes me happy that someone out there finds him attractive. It gives him a little ego boost....and i like it when he feels good about himself.

    I'm so secure in my husband's love for me, that this would not bother me. Especially since your husband ignored it & didn't play into it....this tells you that he did not care for what she said.

    Next time i saw the chick though i would say to her in conversation "My husband is so sexy when he is angry. So glad i get to be the lucky one he's in love with" And watch her reaction.

    As long as you know your husband loves you, don't worry about it. Just because some chick said this, doesn;t mean he is going to drop his draws for her. It can be uplifting & a boost to our confidence when someone is flirtatious. If you're confident in your relationship, don't worry about it.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:57 AM on May. 8, 2012

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