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If you were/are an unwed mom and wanted to have a child, why?

I was just reading about a very fascinating book called Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage. It's essentially a bunch of case studies conducted on lower income women who have had children out of wedlock. Many of the women have had these kids on purpose. My sister has 3 kids all by different men and is not married. I often wonder why she chose to have so many kids and always thought it was because she had nothing else to really look forward to in her life. If you had a kid/kids out of wedlock or as a teenager, why did you do it? Was it planned? Were you ready? Do you regret it? Just wondering, as I've always been fascinated by this.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Jan. 27, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • umm.. i'm not fully understanding but heres what i'm thinking it your asking.. i am not married to the father of my child... but we have a two yr old.. why because it was planned, and i dont see the point of marriage. and yeah i was ready to become a mom. and i def. do not regret having my son.
    MommaBear1129

    Answer by MommaBear1129 at 6:15 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • i was unwed when i got pregnant the reason was because i dont think u need a piece of paper in order to love someone and have a baby with them. we were both ready for a kid he is 29 and im 22 we do not regret anything about it we brought a beautiful little boy in this world even though he was born with congenital heart failure. when i was 7 months pregnant we decided to get married i didnt want my son asking why his parents were not married.in a way the baby is the only reason we got married we were together for 4 years befor i got pregnant so we really do love each other and were talking about getting married when we got the money to but the baby kind rushed things along so i didnt get the wdding i wanted but dont regret it at all
    mom-to-be21

    Answer by mom-to-be21 at 6:15 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • no it deff wasnt planned lol, but i dont regret it, i wish i was older sure and that my babies dad was still around. but i wouldnt give up my daughter for anything
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • and by the way he was planned i got pregnant the 1st time we tried
    mom-to-be21

    Answer by mom-to-be21 at 6:16 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • The answer from an un-wed mother would be the same as the answer from a married one - because they were in love and wanted to bring children into this world to nourish and love.

    You say poor un-wed mother - yet un-wed does not =poor. There are many couples (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for example) - who are very rich, have many children, and do not plan to marry, and are very happy with that decision.

    It seems ridiculous in this day and age for anyone to presume that love and children go's hand in hand with marriage.
    ladysavage

    Answer by ladysavage at 6:17 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • don't see where it is other peoples buissness on what someone wants to do if you want a child then have a child who cares as long as that child is cared and loved for just because you are not married doesn't mean you love your kids less nor does it mean your married and can care for your child more welcome too a new age not everyone believes in having to get married
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:39 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • everybody has there reasons... not everybody wants marriage... as long as the child is taken care of it doesnt matter if your married or not
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:03 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I GOT PREGNANT AT 17 OF COURSE NOT PLANNED GOT ENGAGED BEFORE THE BABY ARRIVED AND HAD MY BABY BOY RIGHT AFTER I TURNED 18. MY SONS FATHER AND I ARE STILL TOGETHER AFTER 4YRS AND GOING STRONG. DOESNT MATTER YOUR AGE OR IF YOU HAVE A BABY OUT OF WEDLOCK. TO ME IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOU HAVE A PEICE OF PAPER BUT IF YOU HAVE THE LOVE, FOUNDATION, AND SUPPORT EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT. I NOW AM 20 AND HAVE A GREAT CAREER W/ AMERICAN AIRLINES AND MY FIANCE IS ALMOST GRADUATED W/ A ELECTRICAL MASTERS LICENSE. SO WE WERE YOUNG BUT WE MADE IT WORK AND OUR SON WHO IS ALMOST 3 WILL HAVE A GREAT FUTURE. WE PLAN TO GET MARRIED SOON AFTER HE GRADUATES.
    TSSN88

    Answer by TSSN88 at 8:24 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • i got pregnant at 16 lost the baby and got prego again in only like 2 weeks no it wasnt planned thought i loved him had my daughter at 16 cuz i had just turned 16 when i got pregnant umm married the dad in march of 08 got pregnant again and now im looking at a divorce around one year of marriage no i dont regret it i didnt even think about abortion wasnt even a thing i thought about no i wasnt ready and im still scared im gonna screw up since ill be 18 for three months with a one year old and a new born but there isnt anyone that is going to raise my kids for me i made the mistake of not protecting myself and im their mother i maybe young but im a good mom i dont care how many teen moms you have met im not them so bash on me if you want you cant make me change my mind that im the best one to raise them
    bugbug07

    Answer by bugbug07 at 8:40 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • i had my 1st son at 17 and ive never been married. i stayed with his father for 5 years. im now 24 and have a 7 year old and a 2 year old they have different dads. i dont think theres anything wrong with that.im 21 weeks prego with my oldest sons father. none of them were planed. ive never regreted gettin pergo with my boys or having them. i love them very much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

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