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I need serious opinions please.

My DD does not like her birth father at all. He has not had anything to do with her for 6 months already.He does this all the time. He once had something to do with her like 2 weekends in a row and then disappeared for 2 years. It is an ongoing thing with him. They called and asked if they can have her this weekend, which I already know if i let her go, it will be the only weekend for the next 6 to 12 months. They love to drink and smoke weed and I dont want her around that. Am I making a bad decision by not letting her go?

 
BIMOM21

Asked by BIMOM21 at 6:30 PM on Jan. 27, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 13 (1,303 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • IF it were my child... and I knew they were doing illegal activities... and the father thinks that 2 visits a year is 'being a dad'... not only would I NOT let her go, I'd turn them in to the police & have his parental rights stripped of him.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 6:32 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • no, i wouldnt let her go. esp. since she doesntlike him anyways. no point in making her go see him if theres a chance he'll be endangering her. hes had plenty of chances to be around her. if he wants to see her he needs to do it more than just when its convinent to him
    mandei1509

    Answer by mandei1509 at 6:31 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Depends on if you have a court order or not. Do you? Does it say he gets visits? If it does then youre in contempt of court if you deny visits. if there is no order then I wouldnt send her until he showed some stability and ability to stay clean. If you do have an order Id file for a modification for sole custody because he isnt interested in a stable relationship and hes using drugs.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:32 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • no you are making a wise decision. she doesnt need to be around that kind of stuff and theres no such thing as a part time parent. he cant be her dad when he feels like it. either he wants to be in her life or he doesnt. if he does, then he doesnt need to have those kinds of things around her. i wouldnt make her go
    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 6:32 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Heck No!!! There is no way I would let her go. He sounds pretty useless to me. If she doesn't even like him than I would definitly not let her go. Also, you need to protect your children even if it is from their own father. I think you're making a good call.
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 6:32 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I would say you are a very smart mom.
    To heck with them, she is YOUR dd. Just b/c he donated sperm doesnt mean he DESERVES to have her attention. NO WAY. Tell them it upsets her and she does not want to go b/c she like to stay at home.
    How old is she?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • No, not at all. I think it's more important that she's not around things like that, then it is for her to see her sporadic father. You're looking out for her well-being. Plan something instead and just say, "Sorry, I forgot we have these plans- your welcome to join us but this is what we're doing"
    ceemuhreeashbee

    Answer by ceemuhreeashbee at 6:32 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • NO Don't let her go! Do you have full custody?
    SgrplmsnSnflwrs

    Answer by SgrplmsnSnflwrs at 6:32 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • find something that "suddenly came up" and she can't go. You don't owe him anything if he's not willing to try to see her often AND give up his bad habits.
    julipickle

    Answer by julipickle at 6:34 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • OK she is 5 and I have complete custody of her. He sat there in court and told them to give me custody that he does not want it. Where I am from, I can have his right stripped because he is 4 years behind on CS and he has not kept adequate communication with the child. As soon as I get the money my DH is filing for adoption.
    BIMOM21

    Answer by BIMOM21 at 6:37 PM on Jan. 27, 2009