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Advise, support, anything but bashing!

DS is 4 yrs old. He's been such a good boy until the last few months. He's not listening, talking back, mostly to his father. He is driving me insane with his not listening. We've tried talking to him, being patient hoping he'll grow out of it (taking too long!) He's lost out on privelidges, been rewarded for good behaviour. This started in school with another boy he is good friends with. 2 weeks ago the teacher called the principal to the class to talk with them because they had had timeouts and we're still not listening. They missed out on their gym time and I'm at my end with ideas. After the gym time and principal I had DS help me pack his room up. Toys and books and stuffies in bins and bags. He will get them back but he has to earn them back with good behaviour. He has gotten things back but I'm loosing my patience with him. If you've had a similar situation tell me what worked for you cont..


Asked by AmandaH321 at 6:38 PM on Jan. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 20 (8,472 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I think this article, and the wshole website could help you a lot.

    Please read through it, and you may find a great deal of help.

    Answer by ladysavage at 6:46 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • or how you managed to cope with this phase, please tell me it's just a phase, I want my good little boy back!!!!!

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 6:38 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Well I don't have boy. But your not the only parents with this problem. I have a five year old daughter that went through this phase and is still in it. Alot of it has to do with how the kids act around other kids. Like follow the leader. when they see kids act like that they will do the same. Just don't let him run you down.Keep up with taking away things. If he can write Like letters and his name. Make him write His name on paper until its time for bed. Now a days you have to be harsh. I make my daughter write her name front to back on paper until its bed time. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But I also found making them stand on their tipie toes in the corner for 15 min helps alot too.

    Answer by lesliekaym27 at 6:45 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • P.S, Please, for the love of your child do not humiliate them by making them stand in a corner. :(

    Answer by ladysavage at 6:46 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Sorry, no answer to this, but know that you are not alone. My godson was such a good boy up until he started school. He's now 7 and still bad. My friend tried to take his privileges over and over to no avail.

    Answer by erlsk at 6:50 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • He's 4 for goodness sakes. Do you think he's going to be nice and quiet and attentive like a college student? He's in school already? Do kids ever get to just stay home and be kids anymore or do we put them in school just after birth? I would imagine he's not listening bc you are talking AT him (nagging) and he's tuned you out. Try getting down and talking TO him and WITH him about things he cares about and he might listen. If that doesn't work, have his hearing tested.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:50 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • ladysavage
    P.S, Please, for the love of your child do not humiliate them by making them stand in a corner. :(

    Please tell me you are kidding with this ...right?

    Answer by mamakirs at 6:59 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • wow thanks anon! I'm not talking at my son, or nagging him. I don't expect him to be perfect but I do expect him to listen. I'm not a drill sargent! I talk about the choices he makes because when I ask him why he got into trouble he says that so and so made him do it. Since then I've been asking him what would have been a better choice. He know's very well the difference between right and wrong. I want him to learn to take responsibility for his actions he's just not listening to every day things. Time to get dressed, let's brush your teeth and so on..... I play with my son doing things he likes.
    Thanks also anon for making me feel bad because my son is growing up! Feels like he was just born yesturday and is already half way through his first year of school which he loves! and almost 5!

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 7:04 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • Mamakirs - absolutely not kidding.

    Humiliation, ignoring your child, time-outs and general do-this-or-else attitudes towards teaching a child learn is very counter-productive.

    The best way to teach your child is through talking to them in a way that they can understand, and to listen to them. Not to force them to do something ridiculous like standing in a corner, or forcing them to write.

    Answer by ladysavage at 7:12 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

  • I suppose your ladysavage I suppose Your child sooo perfect and does nothing wrong. I bet your child just as horrible as the next. Sorry but seem like your saying give into your child oh please!

    Answer by lesliekaym27 at 7:17 PM on Jan. 27, 2009